[Xodiac]

Originally Posted by julby

Wow...for some reason I never actually cognitized that there was only ONE actual TG transformation in the story (unless you count the robot). I guess I'm used to thinking of CD, feminization (of either gender) and TG as interchangeable, but for most people they certainly aren't.

Well, There was the wedding planner into a priest, with was F2M TG. And there was a troupe of young boys into ballerinas. Neither was exactly lingered over, but they do count as TGs. Still, yeah, this techincally belongs more in the TF subforum. Which doesn't mean I like it any less, mind!

Originally Posted by julby

Anyway, the initial storyboard idea had the robot being the time-traveller who prevents it from happening, but I thought "some fifth character saves the day" was slightly less of a cheat ending than "he could have time travelled this whole time but didn't think about it."

If you make the guy who does the time thing not so much an uberfan, it'd make sense that he not think of it, though. Not immediately, anyway. It'd also give you a reason to get him out from in front of the TV set. Make him more like the girl, who was a big fan as a kid but has grown out of it, other than plenty of fond memories.

Originally Posted by julby

I don't want to overhaul the story at this point because I've already invested about as much time as I'm interested in investing into the initial writing, so here's what I'm going to try: Having some brief scene in the middle of the story that involves Ron sitting at home watching the time-travel episode (or something like that with Ron). That way there's a bit of foreshadowing and the ending is less of a "and then I pulled this out of my ass" ending. Thoughts?

I did like how you foreshadowed the time-traveling. That was well done. Too many authors would either pull that ability out of nowhere or would hammer it home to the reader, bringing too much attention to it and making it an obvious solution. This was great.

Originally Posted by julby

Edit: Also, Xodiac makes a very good point...but I worry that if I try answering it, either within the story or outside it, I'll be guilty of taking a story about Norse gods transforming costumed people into vampires and vampires transforming people into cross-dressing vampire slaves too seriously.

To me, all you have to say is that this will cause chaos, not to mention people becoming permanently what they thought would be only temporary, or didn't want at all. End of the world, no, but not exactly conducive to mental health - not to mention the possible breakdown of society as the world at large is forced to realize magic exists.

Anyway, I certainly understand how you're reluctant to go back and do more rewrites. I tell you these ideas as something to consider for the future, then.