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Re: Story Editor?
A good beginning for your story. Do watch your tenses; you're flipping back and forth between past and present - "I say" versus "I said". Given that most of your story is present tense, I'd stick with that.
Are you going to depict the reverse TF? We don't see a lot of F2M TGs and it would be interesting.
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"And the Lord said, 'Come forth and receive eternal life.' But John came fifth and won a toaster."
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