[Eelskin]

9

So I left. When I left her apartment it was dark outside- I found a clock that read 3:19 AM. I didn?t go home right away- since this was possibly my last night- or day, for that matter- I decided to take a walk for a while. I wandered around the city, thinking about the choice I had to make. I weighed the pros and cons, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I really had nothing keeping me here. It was more a formality than anything else.
So, my first stop was my home. I had been trying to compose the note during the walk, but couldn?t think of anything good to write. I wanted to write something really dramatic, really mysterious, something that would really make people wonder.
I cannot tell you where I have gone, or why? No.
Please do not try to look for me. You?ll never find me. Way too emo.
Farewell, suckers! What the hell is wrong with me?
I thought to myself, Who am I trying to impress? I frankly didn?t really care what anyone who would read the note would think. All I was trying to do was make it not look like I had been killed. So I wrote something very simple and short. About how I was unhappy here and wanted to make a new start elsewhere. I signed it and left it on the kitchen table. I wondered how long it would be before someone found it. I wondered who it would be. I took a few things that I thought I might want to hang onto- a couple of books, a photo of my brother, my harmonica. I looked around my apartment, expecting to feel some anxiety or last-minute panic, but I felt none. The only thing I could think of was Kristen. Every minute I spent in the apartment only made me more eager to leave it. So I did.
Next, the bar. I unlocked the door and went in quietly. I found Chris? locker, and slipped $15 in through the side of the door. I left.

I stepped outside at nearly 4:30 AM and opened my cell phone to dial a cab. While it was ringing, I figured, This might be the last time for a long time I?m here. I might as well walk it. I?m in no hurry. I walked along the main streets, the side streets, taking detours and long ways, making my slowly back to Kristen?s place. I thought about all of the things I wouldn?t be able to see or do again? and found myself not saddened at all by the idea. There wasn?t a whole lot I was attached to.
?Hey man, got a light?? I jumped at the voice. I hadn?t been paying attention and didn?t nice this guy until he was right beside me.
?Uh, yeah. Sure.? I didn?t even smoke, but I usually had a lighter on me. The boss required it at work and I got into the habit of having one at all times. I fumbled into my pockets and pulled it out. He leaned in with the cigarette in his mouth and I reached forward to light it. As I did, I noticed the shadow of someone behind me moving quickly across the lamplight. I didn?t have time even to turn around before I felt something strike me hard across the back of my head. I collapsed in a heap on the ground.

So I wasn?t actually awake for any of what happened next. Sometimes I think I would?ve liked to have been, but, you know, I?m really not sure. In any case, this is what I was told by Kristen and Amanda. I didn?t see any of it, but hey, if something isn?t true, I?m not about to go prying. Best to let things as they are. I?ll try to tell it as well as I can, though.

So the four guys that jumped me stood over me pulled me into the alley where the first one had been waiting for someone to walk by. Once I was hidden, they emptied the contents of my pockets and rifled through. One pulled open my wallet.
?Fuck. The guy?s got almost nothing. There?s like five bucks in here.?
?Less than a dollar in change.?
?Nothing else. Just receipts.?
?Bitch doesn?t even have any goddamn ID. No credit card, nothing.?
?God dammit.?
?Hey, wait a sec.? One of them noticed some paper in my wallet that wasn?t money. He reached and pulled out the note I had written two days ago and put into my wallet so as not to lose it. ??6587 Outremont, apartment 301. Kristen.? It?s a girlfriend?s address. Think we can make something outta this??
?What good is her fucking address? How does it help us? So we know where someone lives. Great. People live all over the city.?
One held up the key ring. ?Yeah, but he might have her key.? They all looked down at it. There were only three keys on the ring- one for the bar, one for my apartment, and, of course, the one Kristen had given me. ?Hey, it?s worth a shot. We can go right now. She?s probably sleeping. In, out.?
They all looked at each other. ?Fuck. No one else is coming along here tonight. Let?s go before it gets light out.?

Half an hour later, with the sky just beginning to lighten, they arrived at the address.
?Which one d?you think it is??
?Dunno. Doesn?t matter. Look, none of the windows have lights on. Let?s hurry up.?
They approached the front door and tried the first key, which didn?t fit. The second key, however, slid in the lock cleanly and quietly. One of them started laughing to himself and whispered excitedly. ?Oh man, this is great. I told you guys. I told you this was a good idea.?
?Shut the fuck up! We aren?t in yet.?
They walked up the stairs as quickly and quietly as they could and found 301. They paused outside the door, listening.
?D?you hear anything??
?No. You??
?No. Let?s go.? He tried the knob, found it locked, and tried slipping the key in. Again, it slid in effortlessly. He turned it, holding his breath, and listened to hear the bolt retract. He pulled the keys out of the door, looked back at his partners, turned the knob and opened the door.