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Unread 08-19-2013   #8
Captain Ash
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 786
Re: The Day I Found A Shrink Ray

A very nice start.
I like the style how you play with the words.
Good work on how you made it to make her daydream without noticing her that she is actually shrinking.
Only drawback: you introduced Jessica too swiftly. You start mentioning her, but the reader doesn't know about their relationship. A little bit more detail about her character would have been nice.

If you have more chapters, just post them. No need to upload them in a document.

Keep on the good work.

Captain Ash
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