Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus Steel
How much looking over do you need, Bill? Like an in depth grammar and the like review? Or just plot and character synopsis review?
I'll do my best if you want a grammar review but despite being an author I'm pretty terrible at grammatical instances.
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Not enough grammar in this to be worried about. Seriously, there are two lines of dialogue that the reader would see. The rest is character and staging descriptions.
What I'm interested in is:
Is it fun?
Is it good?
Do the characters and their actions make sense?
Can you visualize the scenes? Are there any areas that need more, less, or better description?