[Apsm]

Possible grammar errors...

But most of all, she was angry at the two idiots upstairs, the ones who'd talked her into this mess in the first place, who'd have heard her cries of anguish earlier, but for whatever reason hadn't thought to come down and see what was the matter.

I think there might be one too many comma's in that sentence.

She shelved this line of questioning for later and her redirected her focus on the ladder that lead out of this strange brass chamber into the room above where her 'friends' awaited her.

Do you mean "then redirected her focus"?

There were more pressing matters at hand then pleasing the last, remnants of her masculinity, most notably the two idiots upstairs.

Yeah, no comma should be there. ^^;

*

Otherwise, I REALLY want to see a picture of this woman Ferris is becoming. I mean, I think she sounds like some sort of amazon with large breasts, which isn't a bad thing. It's just the whole "being called fat" line, and having her abs "all but disappear" after suddenly gaining them threw me off on the mental image.

Also, seeing as she seemed to have come to a realization about herself, I would've thought that the "best parts" of the transformation would be a little less painful/against her will. Then again I think I'm missing the point, and I'd be fine if it were to remove any doubt from her mind.

Otherwise, I liked what I read. Keep up the good work.