[vincent_richter]

Well, you're talking about it, and that is actually healthier than just letting it fester.

I know this is hard to hear, being as the service has this whole stigma about not relying entirely on one's own self, but we're all human and weak, regardless of what your Sergeant might've drilled into you.
That shit's for combat situations, and when you're not on patrol, it's going to take more strength to get help than to just throw your life away.

If none of that works, consider this: bureaucratic shitstains get to dictate where you go and who you kill. A good portion of them haven't seen anything more strenuous than a ballpoint pen. When honorable men and women take the way you're discussing... they win. They get to dictate the narrative of your life, your experiences, your family, your history, your honor. It's not an easy path to face adversity, but you signed up for this, right? Don't let them tell you how your story ends, live and tell it yourself.

At least one person will listen.