I believe you.
I believe that you might kill yourself. You would not have made this post if you weren't serious. But it sounds like you're wanting to talk about it (again, the fact that you made this post indicates that). I get it. I really do. Like many others here that have battled or are battling depression, I'm no different. I take antidepressants, and I've thought about suicide on more than a few occasions. The thing is, no one here can stop you from taking your life. We're stuck behind a screen, and the best we can offer are our wishes that you not commit the act. Ultimately, it's your decision.
I would strongly advise you to consider the consequences of that act, however. Suicide may seem like the only viable solution to the problem you're facing, but there
are alternatives, alternatives I urge you to explore; Therapy, counseling, stronger medications, etc. Maybe even just a night out with a good, trusted friend that you know will
listen to you.
I wish you all the best, tjlemke, and even though we're all little more than strangers behind a screen, we're still a community here and a strong one at that. And we all care about you. If you ever want to talk in private, never hesitate to PM me or anyone else.
*Pats on back* Depression is strong, but you're stronger.
Always remember that.