Thank you all for your responses
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aahz
I enjoyed it. I think my only comments would be it seemed a bit rushed and I wish it was a bit longer.
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I'll admit, it was a bit rushed, I wrote it in the space of a few hours, and wanted to see what people thought of it so far, so that's why it's kind of short, I do plan on continuing the story though if you're looking for more
Quote:
Originally Posted by frice2000
Each new line from someone should begin a new paragraph. And the woman wishes her breasts were bigger when they're a D cup already?
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I wasn't aware of that writing convention, but thanks for making me aware of it!
I kind of based on the idea of her wanting bigger breasts on my own experiences with my girlfriend, she is a D-cup, and while she might complain about how nothing fits her boobs because they're too big, she does have the problem with them being spread too far apart, resulting an an awkward space between her boobs. I didn't mind it, but I felt like it was something I could work into the story.