[Commission] Kate&Carol: Gypsy Curse

[Captain Ash]

Hello SW-Fans,

do you still remember Kate from Coffee Yawn?
If not, it is this loveable shrinking cutie:

I like this character and I often thought to do more with her.

In Kate's description I've mentioned that she thanks her occasional shrinking habit due a curse someone cast upon her, which I always wanted to expand in more detail.

So I imagine this would make a great series for more animated gifs or maybe just pixel comics.

Anything out of reach, everything out of size, who is giving Kate a hand, when she is shrunk down again in her apartment?
That's why Kate, more rough than ready, got Carol as her new roommate.

Or better said, she just moved in! But that's another story to tell.
Unfortunately Carols is rather driving her little grumpy roommate crazy than being really helpful, while Kate is still struggling with her shrinking problems.


We have new characters, now they need to be introduced.
And is there a better way to get known of new characters but a comic... ?

So I’ve found the talented artist Christiano Reina to make a two-page origin story, to unravel the secret, how Kate got her shrinking curse.

I'm very happy with the result and I love his drawing style and colors.
If you like the artist work, please don't forget to leave comments.

Enjoy the first adventure of Kate&Carol!

Page1


Page2


Greetings

Captain Ash

[OhZone]

mmmMMmmm nice!

[ArcaneBEFan]

Fan-freaking-tastic. I think this is my favorite post on the SW forum in my years of lurking.

[Captain Ash]

Originally Posted by OhZone

mmmMMmmm nice!

OhZones gives a three of three "m"s.

@ArcaneBEFan
Thank you for this nice compliment.
With posts like this I'm maybe doing some more commissions.
I hope to see you more posting and less lurking.

Greetings
Captain Ash

[Red Parrot]

We all know how fetishes are very, very precise. Show me an entire shrinking comic and I'll point to, like, 2 things in the entire book that really "hit me" just right.

"The rest is fine," I'd say, "but those are the two perfect images." They're just perfect moments in time where everything is working right.

That first page up there crams about 5 of those moments into one page.

Simply phenomenal.

[Captain Ash]

@Red Parrot
Thank you for your awesome feedback!
Critics are always welcome, even negative.. ahem .. I mean constructive ones.
So I know if people like my way of storytelling or not.
I was lucky that I've picked an artist who also did a fantastic job, considering that he never did anything with SW before. (But he likes mangas, so this was a good requirement I guess)

I'm glad that you like the story, and it encourage me to bring more Kate&Carol adventures.


Greetings
Captain Ash

[qzar9999]

I like the artwork, and the setup could make for some very amusing situations. I really like the four-panel sequence on page 1. One minor criticism is that the dialogue is bit odd at times, especially in panels 2 and 3 of page 2. I get that you're not a native English speaker, so I understand, but it makes the conversation a bit tough to follow in those two panels.

[Captain Ash]

@qzar9999
Thank you.
My favourite shrinking panel is the one with her nude ass.

Yes, you are right, I was fighting with these two panels.
I've tried not to bring too much dialogue, so I tried to keep them short and simple.
I hope that this is just a minor flow which doesn't spoil the fun of reading this comic.
However, I keep this point in mind and make it better next time.

Thank you for your honest feedback.

Greetings
Captain Ash

[Red Parrot]

Originally Posted by Captain Ash

@Red Parrot
Thank you for your awesome feedback!

In an attempt to be even more constructive...

The best Shrinking art alternates between living in the big person's world and the small person's. Think of it as switching POV, even though I don't literally mean a POV shot. (Although you do have a literal POV in frame 4, it's not necessary to pull this off.)

The main mistake people make is taking a neutral middle-view where the viewer is just observing 2 characters from a removed position. If I'm not making sense, I'm talking about image #4 on the second page. There's nothing wrong with using it occasionally! But it shouldn't be used in every image.

Which is what makes the final two panels of page 1 SO great because they swap from one to the other in a perfect textbook example of what each should be. We are in the Gypsy's world and then we're in Kate's world. There's no middle ground. And it's done without weird angles, curved wide-angle lens effects, or literal POV shots. Those all help, but pulling it off without them is a huge testament to your artist's abilities.

(And THEN there's the bonus fact that both images have parts of both characters' bodies in the same image! This really ramps up the effect.)

I could go on forever about what makes good SW art, but I don't need to. Just stare at these two pages and you'll see every concept and idea I could mention layered on top of each other in a wonderful tapestry.

If you continue these I'd humbly suggest that you explore the first few weeks of her curse where she's still not used to it. The time-jump here is a fun joke but I'm much more interested in what happens the following day!

You've got an extremely unique setup here; a character who COULD end this but is too stubborn to. I can't recall ever seeing this idea before. You should really milk that joke by raising the stakes of Kate's problems. Have her crash a car. Lose her job. Get kidnapped. Etc. etc. The worse things get for her the funnier her stubbornness will be.

I love new and unique concepts and you've got a golden nugget here.

Originally Posted by Captain Ash

@qzar9999
My favourite shrinking panel is the one with her nude ass.

I'm not what you'd call a big ass-fan, but occasionally I'll see an image that makes me question myself. That one sure did the trick.

[Captain Ash]

Originally Posted by Red Parrot

If you continue these I'd humbly suggest that you explore the first few weeks of her curse where she's still not used to it. The time-jump here is a fun joke but I'm much more interested in what happens the following day!

You should really milk that joke by raising the stakes of Kate's problems.
Etc. etc. The worse things get for her the funnier her stubbornness will be.

You think the same way like me. I like that.
I have thought of that too and there will be stories between the timestamps.
But anything to its time, there will be more comics in the future.

Greetings
Captain Ash