A Story I'm Working On

[Kantomaster1111]

This is the first half of a story I am working on. I'd like to hear your opinions/critique/feedback/suggestions. The second half would move onto to Ella's perspective (with her being 18+) and it is based on the follow three of my works:

http://kantomaster1111.deviantart.co...19975947&qo=23
http://kantomaster1111.deviantart.co...F19975947&qo=9
http://kantomaster1111.deviantart.co...19975947&qo=18

Here is the story (currently untitled):

Ella was a very unique young woman. At only 20 years old, she knew of nobody else who was even remotely like her. At first glance, she seemed like most other human girls her age; she had long, luscious, beautiful hair; she was slender and curvaceous; she had no physical deformities; and she was the average height. Ella was very pretty, with blue eyes the colour of the ocean and brown hair with a red tint (it used to be blonde but it changed when she hit puberty). However, keep in mind that she wasn’t a stunner. Her feminine features were average in the sense that they were as appealing as most attractive girls’ feminine features. This allowed Ella to carry on with her mostly normal day-to-day life. Ella was enrolled in university where she majored in business. She attended classes every day with the other 500 (normal) business students. When she wasn’t in a lecture hall or doing homework in her dorm, she was working at a pet store, much like the kind of pet store she wanted to someday own and manage herself.

Like many other people, Ella loved animals. In fact, you could even go as far as saying that she loved interacting and caring for animals much more than she loved interacting and caring for other humans. No, she wasn’t a crazy cat lady or anything like that, but like many people, she really loved animals. She may have loved them a tiny bit more than other people, but not so intensely that she was way above the average on the “loving of animals” scale. What makes Ella so happy about loving animals was that they loved her back – that is to say, the feeling was literally mutual.

Ella had this affection since she was 7 years old, when a stray cat followed her home from school. The cat was a brown male tabby that she named Oscar. To this day, Ella does not know why the cat followed her home. She can only say with certainty that the cat took a great liking to her and would not leave her alone. As soon as she stepped off school property, Oscar came out of nowhere, rubbing against her legs and contentedly mewling away. Confused, Ella began walking away. Oscar followed. Then she stopped. Oscar caught up and continued weaving in and out of her legs. The stopping and starting continued until she stepped onto the little walkway that led to the front door of her house. The cat sat down on the sidewalk right in front of the path on watched her with a cute curiosity. She hadn’t even realized he had stopped following her until she got to the door and got ready to stop him from entering her house. She turned around to see him sitting there, as if there was a feline-proof force field surrounding the property of the house. Ella dropped her backpack on the porch and walked back towards the cat. She sat down next to him, cross-legged, and began rubbing his head. He rubbed his head into her hand and eventually the head rubbing became ear scratching and chin scratching. He was a very Oscar cat and when Ella noticed this, she began telling him how Oscar he was. This was where the name “Oscar” stuck. Petting Oscar lasted for an hour when she finally decided it was time to go inside. She was so attached to him that she tried to get him to follow her inside but he wouldn’t budge past the property line. She gave up eventually and went inside. She looked out the window to see if he was still there but it was like he had vanished; he was nowhere in sight (and from this particular window Ella had a damn good view of the entire street).

After school that next day, Ella went through the same routine with Oscar. He met her at the property line of the school and he followed her to the property line of her house where they had a bout of ear scratches. For the first few weeks, Ella wondered certain things about him. Why didn’t he cross onto anyone’s property like other cats? Why is he so attached to me? After a while, she got rather used to the routine and became complacent, forgetting all about how weird Oscar’s habits and their ritual was. She had become as attached to Oscar as Oscar had become attached to her. Hell, it didn’t even bother Ella that he was a stray and he could be carrying some rather strange and dangerous diseases. One scratch, she hadn’t realized, could make her very sick… or change her life forever.

Oscar followed Ella home for about three months before the day that she decided she couldn’t just see the poor cat every day on the walk home from school, but she wanted to spend more time with him. She had told her parents about the cat but they were very skeptical. They had never seen the cat before, mainly because he was gone as soon as Ella parted ways with him. She asked them if she could adopt the cat under the promise that she would take care of him herself. They were further skeptical about their daughter adopting a stray cat that could be, well, full of diseases. But Ella had her mind made up.

On a Thursday after school, right before a long weekend, she tried to pick Oscar up and carry him inside to show her parents. He was a little restless at first, but Ella assumed that was because she had surprised him by picking him up. She tried to carry him past the property line but the cat started to squirm and quickly became violent. He scratched and bit her arms and chest until she dropped him and he fled. Bleeding and crying, she ran inside and her parents raced to the hospital. She was bandaged up and given rabies shots. Ella was fine. The cuts healed up over the weekend leaving barely any trace and she felt no signs of rabies. On Sunday night, she removed the bandages and it the scratches were gone, as if she had never even tried to pick up Oscar. She decided she would apologize to Oscar as well as forgive him for scratching her the next day. Her mother and father did not like the idea that she should continue interacting with such a vicious animal, but they were never there to walk her home so there was not much they could do. Once again, Ella’s mind was made up and there was no changing it.

But Oscar was not there after school the next day, waiting at the property line for her. Deeply saddened, the regret of picking Oscar up affected her for the longest time. For the next year or so, she was emotionally affected, with a big hole in her heart where Oscar used to be. But she never saw Oscar again. Of course, the effects Oscar left on her were eventually forgotten. For her 8th birthday, her parents bought her a black and white tabby that she named Sammy (mainly because at first she was not sure if the cat was a male or a female). She began calling it Sam when she found out it was a male. Similar to Oscar, he was a rescue. She eventually forgot about Oscar, but not completely. Of course, when she hit puberty, she would begin to remember Oscar in a whole new way.

And if you’re thinking that she remembered him in a sexual way, you are kind of right. Actually, you’re half right. But that’s not the big feature of Ella’s next life chapter. At age 12, Ella began growing breasts. But when her breasts began to sprout, her hair also began changing colour, at an alarming rate, from blonde to the brown with a red tint that she has to this day. Her body was well into puberty when she turned 14 years old. Her breasts had gotten much larger and she was growing hair in strange places (and don’t be perverted, we’re talking about armpit hair). Unlike most blondes, her hair was not blonde or black but the same colour as the new colour of her hair. But the strangest thing had nothing to do with breasts or hair, but it was her lack bleeding. Ella was not menstruating. She believed there was something wrong with her despite the fact that the doctor assured her she was just running a little later than the other girls. But a few months after her 14th birthday, during the spring, she experienced a very uncomfortable pressure from her upper legs to her chest, particularly in her abdomen and crotch. She Googled this strange phenomenon, but all that came up were results about animals going into heat. But she was human. She couldn’t go into heat, right?

The uncomfortable feeling became more and more intense over the next few weeks. It began to hurt. The doctor gave her painkillers, but eventually those stopped working. But when they did work, she found she was staring at boys a lot more. It was harmless at first, but eventually evolved into some extreme sexual fantasies that she was seriously considering acting upon. Eventually, she began masturbating to get the heat to subside. This worked for a while though there came a point when no amount of self-provided sexual pleasure brought her any form of release. Ella did not know what to do; the effect was unbearable. She knew it to be, somehow, a form of estrous that was making her body feel this way. But she had no way of confirming it. Even if she could prove it, would anyone actually believe her? Human girls were supposed to have periods, not go into heat.

The intensity peaked around the same time when the moon was getting fuller and fuller each night, which she did not notice until it was too late. Ella was walking home from her friend’s house on a Thursday night (coincidentally, right before a long weekend). And that’s when it happened. The full moon, high in the sky, came out from behind some very thick clouds and the estrous became so painful that she wanted to die. She fell to her hands and knees and hugged her abdomen tightly as if she was trying to stop the pain. It was futile, the pain radiated throughout her core and eventually her whole body. Everything felt like it was being pierced; the tips of her ears, her clitoris, her breasts, her abs, her ribcage, her tailbone, her fingertips, her toes, her nose, her lips, her eyes, and finally every inch of skin. Her breathing had increased rapidly and her heart was beating a million times a second. She refused to open her eyes the entire time she was on the ground. Just when she opened her mouth, ready to scream “Kill me now!” she passed out.

She woke up what felt like hours later (although it was really only two minutes for the recovery) and felt incredible. She felt like she had never been in estrous or any extreme pain and she felt powerful, as if she could get up and do anything. But she was still slightly freaked out and was scared to open her eyes. She felt too good to be true. Ella opened her eyes and her vision had never been clear. Based on the position of the moon, she discovered that not much time had passed, if at all. She sat up but in doing so really hurt her tailbone – Ella stopped. She moved her butt so her tailbone didn’t hurt and tried to stand up. She felt something swaying on its own behind her as she felt herself standing on the balls of her feet, instead of her heels. She reached back to see what was swaying and grabbed a tail attached to her spine. The tail itself would have freaked her out if she hadn’t seen her entire body (claws, fur, six breasts, snout) all at once.

It took her a while to calm down. After that first reaction, she ran into the nearby woods and didn’t stop until she found a small moonlit clearing with a pond. By this point, her feline instincts were taking over when she got down on all fours to take a drink of water when she saw her reflection. Her cat-like face was beautiful yet horrifying. For a little while, Ella forgot all about her troubles and happily enjoyed a drink of water and lounging lazy by the pond, flicking her tail. But she knew she had to think of something fast. She was a wear-cat! Why? How? What was she going to do? How would she explain this to her parents? Was she even going to be able to go home? Surely, her mother and father were worried sick. All of the answers came to her (it was a very long night to be transformed into a bipedal cat person).

Ella figured out that Oscar’s bites and scratched had infected her the same way that a werewolf bite would infect someone in the movies. Sam had never bitten nor scratched, neither had any other cats. It had to be Oscar’s fault. She regretted picking up that mangy stray in the first place. But as she thought about Oscar, her heat began to return in a soothing, yet slightly demanding, way. She retracted her claws and was about to masturbate when she began to scare herself again. Lost in thought, she figured that she would go home in the morning and, if she were still a were-cat, she would explain things to her parents if they didn’t think she was a freak. If not, well, she didn’t want to think about what would happen if they rejected her. If she changed back to her human body again, she would tell her parents that she stayed at her friend’s house for the night and forgot to call (this was what happened). Her folks were skeptical, but happy that she was safe and sound (as safe and sound as a girl who becomes a part-feline during the full moon can really be).

Luckily, that night was the last time that the estrous and the transformation was that unbearably painful. The estrous returned periodically every spring and fall. The transformation, which had become more and more sensual as she grew up, was made better by the accompanying estrous. She discovered that instead of menstruating, her body thought that she would reproduce the way animals do: going into heat. Her parents didn’t know that aspect, but she did eventually show them her transformation and they helped her keep it secret. While they scolded her for picking up “that mangy stray,” they were very understanding and allowed her to become a were-cat in comfort of her own room. The first time she changed on her bed, she scratched up the sheets to the point where she and her mother had to buy new ones the next day.
Speaking of Oscar, every time Ella transformed, despite her resentment towards him and the regret she felt from picking him up and receiving her catty affliction, she sometimes regarded him in an attractive way when she turned with each full moon. It made her come to miss Oscar, like missing the love of your life when they’re gone for a long time. Was it weird that she thought of Oscar this way? She was disgusted with herself when she was human, but when she was basking in the glow of the full moon, she didn’t think of him as a cute little cat, but as a were-cat like herself. She imagined he would be toned and handsome and caring and, for some off reason, very agile. All of this became routine for Ella, both her transformations and the attraction to Oscar, and her life became as normal as it was before… with, of course, the slight side effect.

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My issue is the appropriateness of the character's age and the detail I go into. What do you guys think?

[Jake]

Sounds good.

[ivan11422]

Damn. It's really good! Can't wait to read more.

[Kantomaster1111]

Thanks! Hopefully I'll get a chance to work on the second half in the next week or so.

[onallfours]

I think we are all guilty of this but a spell check.

I think I saw a "wear-cat" in it somewhere.

Apart from that looks good

[Kantomaster1111]

Haha, yup, found it! Thanks!