SW Story: Stale Meal [Part 2/?]

[whyamihere]

.

[LK]

If I ever swear off shrinking forever, it will be because this passes for writing by the majority.

Dude? Why would you put a profile picture that implies that it is you? Are you so naive to think that someone wouldn't search by image and stumble across your private interests? And why do you write when you make no effort to proofread?

I get that this exercise is probably you indulging in your fantasies, and you're honestly looking for feedback, but I would spend some time in an English and critical thinking course instead of looking to anonymous to give you a credible education.

[whyamihere]

Originally Posted by LK

If I ever swear off shrinking forever, it will be because this passes for writing by the majority.

Dude? Why would you put a profile picture that implies that it is you? Are you so naive to think that someone wouldn't search by image and stumble across your private interests? And why do you write when you make no effort to proofread?

I get that this exercise is probably you indulging in your fantasies, and you're honestly looking for feedback, but I would spend some time in an English and critical thinking course instead of looking to anonymous to give you a credible education.

I admit, I didn't proofread as much as I should, and that picture isn't me. Its a random guy I found on google images. Thanks for the critism, I'll try to improve myself and well, not make it all about my fantasys.

[LK]

Why are you here? You can't call yourself a writer if you can't spell.

[whyamihere]

OK, I guess I'll quit writing

[tjlemke]

Originally Posted by LK

Why are you here? You can't call yourself a writer if you can't spell.

If Lorekeep is good at one thing that would be his ability to be an (unjustified) ass. Don't worry about him, he's just cranky cause he can't get that pole out of his ass. I say keep writing and do your best to improve your storytelling abilities!

[qzar9999]

Originally Posted by LK

Why are you here? You can't call yourself a writer if you can't spell.

Why are *you* here? You don't contribute anything anymore except dickishness.

It's true that this story would benefit quite a bit from proofreading and editing, but "this is so awful it would be a reason for me to forget SW entirely" is a pretty terrible way to say that.

whyamihere, you probably should see about getting someone to proofread your stuff. It would really help.

[mtshrink]

I like the concept for your story. Some proof reading would really help it. I wouldn't let LK prevent you from writing more in the future. If anything ask some of us to proof it before you post it and I'm sure you will receive a better reception. I hope to see more from you in the future.

[whyamihere]

I was being sarcastic :P

[whyamihere]

Thanks for the feedback guys! I'll try my best to proof read and better my skills. I was hesitant on if this story was too personal fantasy or just plain dumb

[LK]

Are you even 18? Don't answer that, too easy to lie, they don't care if you are a minor.

You think I'm a dick, I think you guys are gullible, ignorant, and lacking critical thinking skills because you listen to what your dick tells you and are that fucking starved for material to stoke your imagination.

You'll swallow shit and think its steak so long as you can pretend and the marionettes you fantasize about are reasonably attractive, teehee.

[lalilu]

Originally Posted by whyamihere

I admit, I didn't proofread as much as I should, and that picture isn't me. Its a random guy I found on google images. Thanks for the critism, I'll try to improve myself and well, not make it all about my fantasys.

That's Jontron's pic. Not "some random guy." Ex Game-Grump, Youtube content creator; the real question is why you wanted his pic as your avatar for a fetish site.

Originally Posted by LK

Are you even 18? Don't answer that, too easy to lie, they don't care if you are a minor.

You think I'm a dick, I think you guys are gullible, ignorant, and lacking critical thinking skills because you listen to what your dick tells you and are that fucking starved for material to stoke your imagination.

You'll swallow shit and think its steak so long as you can pretend and the marionettes you fantasize about are reasonably attractive, teehee.

I have never seen Lorekeep this mad before. Why are you going to town on this guy? It looks like you're taking this super personally/serious for whatever reason.