An Impassioned and PBS-Style Plea!

[Obsidian Reaver]

Originally Posted by TF-Viewer

I would like to, but I have to start saving for things, important things... I'll be honest I'm just saving up for the upcoming video games due out in late summer through the holidays. There's too many coming out, otherwise I might have contributed. So if you must blame someone, blame Nintendo.

*sigh...




...video games *are* important.

To be honest with you, I've been severely depressed by this for a few days now. I felt ignored by the community, a community I've been a part of for three years now.

I'll just flat-out say it, I don't have many friends in RL. I was never the outgoing type, and preferred my own company to that of others. I never built up a strong and populated circle of friends, even though I started trying to later in life.

When I joined this community back in 2011, I was thrilled with the notion of sharing in something I liked with other like-minded individuals. I consider you all friends. You're more friends to me than anything I have in real life, and so I do whatever I can to impress you and stay relevant. I write things I think you'll like because I want your approval. I commission things for the same reason. And I occasionally try to inject my own interests into both of the above because I hope that if you see or read about them, you might develop a similar interest. I want to share more with you, because the thought of becoming irrelevant to you all, to be ignored by you, *devastates* me. It honestly hurts.

And I try so hard to keep that from becoming a reality, even though I know I fail more often than not in my efforts. As an introvert, I find it hard to just jump into the random and fun F&BS threads, and I have a difficult time starting conversations on my own. Wish it were different...wish my titles were a little more witty heh...

...that's why this thread depressed me so much...the lack of interest in it, of *any* replies whatsoever beyond what's been posted here today, made me feel...ignored, by the only people I consider my friends...it made me feel irrelevant to the very people I want so desperately to please and share with...and that hurt me, deeply. More deeply than you may know or realize.

I care what you think of me. I care about what you want. I want to share with you and I want to have fun with you. I thought I could do that by telling a great, illustrated story in a setting I care strongly about. I thought folks were interested, and with the donations I just wanted to strengthen my means to keep the content flowing...but the silence...I must have misread things...another failure.

Bah, I've emoted all over you enough for one day (hell, for a lifetime, most likely). This thread is largely pointless at, well, this point. I canceled the sequel with Lunate, and I've asked the Govenor to deactivate this account. I'm sorry if I came across as, fuck, I don't even know. Needy? Overly-friendly, or zealous in trying to be relevant? Maybe just clueless. Your pick.

Just trying to give, and to be accepted.

It's not easy.