An Impassioned and PBS-Style Plea!

[Obsidian Reaver]

Originally Posted by TF-Viewer

I would like to, but I have to start saving for things, important things... I'll be honest I'm just saving up for the upcoming video games due out in late summer through the holidays. There's too many coming out, otherwise I might have contributed. So if you must blame someone, blame Nintendo.

*sigh...




...video games *are* important.

To be honest with you, I've been severely depressed by this for a few days now. I felt ignored by the community, a community I've been a part of for three years now.

I'll just flat-out say it, I don't have many friends in RL. I was never the outgoing type, and preferred my own company to that of others. I never built up a strong and populated circle of friends, even though I started trying to later in life.

When I joined this community back in 2011, I was thrilled with the notion of sharing in something I liked with other like-minded individuals. I consider you all friends. You're more friends to me than anything I have in real life, and so I do whatever I can to impress you and stay relevant. I write things I think you'll like because I want your approval. I commission things for the same reason. And I occasionally try to inject my own interests into both of the above because I hope that if you see or read about them, you might develop a similar interest. I want to share more with you, because the thought of becoming irrelevant to you all, to be ignored by you, *devastates* me. It honestly hurts.

And I try so hard to keep that from becoming a reality, even though I know I fail more often than not in my efforts. As an introvert, I find it hard to just jump into the random and fun F&BS threads, and I have a difficult time starting conversations on my own. Wish it were different...wish my titles were a little more witty heh...

...that's why this thread depressed me so much...the lack of interest in it, of *any* replies whatsoever beyond what's been posted here today, made me feel...ignored, by the only people I consider my friends...it made me feel irrelevant to the very people I want so desperately to please and share with...and that hurt me, deeply. More deeply than you may know or realize.

I care what you think of me. I care about what you want. I want to share with you and I want to have fun with you. I thought I could do that by telling a great, illustrated story in a setting I care strongly about. I thought folks were interested, and with the donations I just wanted to strengthen my means to keep the content flowing...but the silence...I must have misread things...another failure.

Bah, I've emoted all over you enough for one day (hell, for a lifetime, most likely). This thread is largely pointless at, well, this point. I canceled the sequel with Lunate, and I've asked the Govenor to deactivate this account. I'm sorry if I came across as, fuck, I don't even know. Needy? Overly-friendly, or zealous in trying to be relevant? Maybe just clueless. Your pick.

Just trying to give, and to be accepted.

It's not easy.

[Amahain]

I'm sorry the comic was a bust. I can understand your frustration. For what it's worth, I think you're an awesome contributor to the TF community and I hope you stick around.

[gladewalker]

Try doing it through GoFundMe or Kickstarter or something.
Explain it's a fanfic and post the link.
It'll work a lot letter.
Also a link to the original you're continuing so people know what you're talking about might help.

For example I have no idea what "Desolate Jedi" Part 1 was....

[Obsidian]

Hmm...

Well, it would appear that a few replies have been made to this thread since my departure. Perhaps I should reply to them?

Yeah, I think I'll reply to them.

Originally Posted by gladewalker

Also a link to the original you're continuing so people know what you're talking about might help.

For example I have no idea what "Desolate Jedi" Part 1 was....

Good advice; I'll keep that in mind.

Originally Posted by hexen

Honestly, I'm sorry that the community didn't contribute as much as you expected but as far as I am concerned I didn't really contribute with the project because well...I don't.

People who know me know that I'm also VERY afraid of spreading my Credit Card info around the internet (I tend to use banking billet to buy stuff online and when the place doesn't accept that payment method I just don't purchase anything at all) and I am having to deal with more bills lately so I did not really have anything to spare.

I can only guess how sad this must have made you but I also have to say you shouldn't really plan your content around user contribution, most people on this "community" are faceless guys/gals that are in only for the thrills and would never really come out to say hello much less contribute to a project like this one, despite being very happy when such projects are done and shared with them.

I really wish this fiasco doesn't drive you off and I wish you keep writing and making your personal comissions at your own leisure though, even if you do not feel like sharing those with us anymore.

I understand your unwillingness to put your CC information out on the web, and I don't fault you for that. I also understand that everyone has bills to pay; again, no fault there. You're a good friend, hexen; you always have been. And you're right, I shouldn't have have planned my content around user contribution. That was an error in judgement on my part...an error I won't make again.

And this fiasco did drive me off, but that's because I let it get the best of me.

My failure.

Originally Posted by TF-Viewer

I have a feeling you'd regret deleting your account, please reconsider.

You're right, I did regret it after a while. But it was good for me to take a step back and reflect for a couple of months.

Overall, it was the right decision for me.

Originally Posted by queenofprussia2006

yes

...

Originally Posted by Amahain

Ignore this.

I am.

Originally Posted by Amahain

No, you were not wrong. You asked the community for help with a project that you thought a lot of us would enjoy. For a variety of reasons, people did not donate as much as you thought they might. No harm was done in asking. Perhaps there might have been more effective ways of asking, as some commenters have suggested, but your request was polite and to the point and not at all presumptuous.

Commissions like what you were aiming for are expensive and it is completely reasonable to ask people to chip in. It doesn't mean they will chip in, but you should not feel bad for asking.

Thanks. Yes, there were more effective ways of asking; I just didn't think/know about them.

My mistake.

By the way, I'm still looking forward to the next chapter in your *Demons* series. You're a powerful writer, and you have a stellar series going on there.

Originally Posted by CryoVchriS

dafuq???? dude what happened??!?!? gone for like a week and shit hits the fan where is obsidisn? it wont let me write him a msg

Deactivated.

Sorry.

I got your e-mail, though.

Originally Posted by CryoVchriS

i donated dude!!!!

I know.

You and I have spoken, and you were obviously refunded your full donation.

Sorry the sequel didn't pan out...yet.

Originally Posted by Easy

it seems he left the forum

An astute observation.

As you can see, however, that is no longer the case.

Originally Posted by Ironhorse

Didn't he have an FA or DA account?

No DA account.

Yes FA account*. (http://www.furaffinity.net/user/chaamp/)

*Ignore the username discrepancy...I made the account when I was nothing more than a leech on this community.*

Originally Posted by JMS

No offense to you OP but I imagine most people who are going to pay out money are going to pay out for their own projects, you can't really be surprised not too many people want to pay you to pay some other guy to draw your kinks for you, life don't work that way.

...

Originally Posted by JMS

Also please go out more and make friends, an internet fetish community should not be your main social circle!

...

Originally Posted by Easy

well cant see to find his other accounts.

Yeah, that name discrepancy is a bitch. Wish I could change it.

Buuut I can't.

*Shrugs*

Originally Posted by Ironhorse

Lol there should be a forum section for process shut ins

...

Well, on that note, I just want say that I apologize to all of you for breaking down very publicly in this thread. Believe it or not, I've learned a great deal in my absence...in particular, in regards to the nature of forums.

I hope you all will accept me back. I can't offer much in return beyond my stories and my commissions, but at least it's something.

Also, I apologize for the necro...but I was curious what had been said in my absence and I needed a little closure in regards to this thread.

And I think I got it.