Incubusted (Complete) - Page 6

GearRyu · 08-11-2006

You shall be able to judge for yourself shortly.

I have finished the final chapter's first draft, and it is about what I had envisioned it to be (:-) ). It is the chapter i have planned the longest, and perhaps that is why it flows so well.

You will see ...
Nah, I shall keep what you shall see a secret until you read it, my fellow Processors.

Incubusted, Chapter Six", coming very to a Process thread near you.

Also... thinking of switching SN to... "Professor Gear". What'cha think? Or mayhaps "Professor Processor". Hmm...

Time to eat.

Eviscerator · 08-12-2006

I like the flying cars.

GearRyu · 08-13-2006

To GenericName: I take it you enjoyed the story, then ;-)

To CaptainAsh: It is possible to have not seen "Blade Runner" until now because I "never got around to seeing it". Then I remembered it, read about it somewhere, and found it in the movie rentals. Interesting movie; not the best action, or sci-fi, or characters, but decent enough to warrant a viewing.

Now...
concerning the "fuck ups". I was uncertain what you mean by that. If you mean "too many f-bombs", I can understand the complaint. I actually had several more in there in the first draft, but cut a few out. The principle of the matter was to show, through his crude language, that he had screwed up major (more of "bad boy" than a "dapper masher" type).

And, hm... You were unaware he was turned female? Peculiar... I will check the phrasing of his transformation from Chapter 5. I try to be clear about character actions, and event settings (unless being purposely vague), so I always like to know where the readers get confused.

Glad you enjoyed the final fight. Yep, Sella'kib got taken out. As for Ultormiglok, a compromise had to be reached. Tormivol is bad-ass, but having a villain who might actually be capable of beating him (a phyrric victory) forces the characters to put the guns away (metaphorically-speaking) and negotiate. Demons dealing with demons - Tormivol is as adept at that as he is with fighting.

Hm... I do not completely understand your comment about "his mother would be turned mad..." You mean upset that Drazz'mik is a girl? She was upset enough to skewer Sella'kib with a claw of heaven-fire. If you mean "upset with Drazz'mik, teaching him a lesson", she might be doing that. Drazz'mik is essentially stuck as a female until (s)he overcomes Ultormiglok. Something similar to "Chrono Trigger", where the only way Frog can return to his human guise is by slaying Magus.

Glad you enjoyed the inner conflict.

What does "Fazit" mean? ^^

And, sequel? Hmm... When I provide my After Thoughts, I will discuss such possibilities.

^^ Thank you for the incoming feedback!

Now I am going to watch "Alien" for the first time, which, coincidentally, is by the same director of "Blade Runner", Ridley Scott.

Eviscerator · 08-13-2006

Let this be a lesson to you when writing stories.

Skip the cattleprods when you're chasing something that just burst out of the chest of a crew mate. Go straight for the flamethrowers and don't feel conservative about the trigger.

Never walk on grates, and always remember to stay together, one person looking up, the others watching forward, aft, and one coverting the sides if possible.

Heheh..Facerape. Alien is so..so wrong.

roadside_fury · 08-14-2006

What the marines on Aliens needed was a couple of USAS 12's, that nice clip fed automatic shotgun. And those one hip-mounted mg's were wussy, they used the same ammo as the rifles. If they can hip mount those, they can hip-mount a 50 caliber Browning.

Eviscerator · 08-14-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadside_fury

What the marines on Aliens needed was a couple of USAS 12's, that nice clip fed automatic shotgun. And those one hip-mounted mg's were wussy, they used the same ammo as the rifles. If they can hip mount those, they can hip-mount a 50 caliber Browning.

No, you can't hip-mount a fifty caliber weapon and fire it on full auto. The problem was that the 'smart' guns used thermal imaging to track their targets and guide the bullets in for a kill, whereas the xenomorph is at ambient temperature.

Their rifles tore the SHIT out of the aliens when they weren't being ambushed after turning in their clips. Of course, by then, there were only four Marines left. Poor intel kills more people than the enemy alone could ever accomplish.

I like the USAS-12 though, automatic shotgun with a drum clip is always nice for interior pest removal.

Cadell · 03-31-2010

I know it's a horrible necro, but I just read this and thought it was fantastic. That is all.

08-11-2006	#1
GearRyu Be Amused Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,712	You shall be able to judge for yourself shortly. I have finished the final chapter's first draft, and it is about what I had envisioned it to be (:-) ). It is the chapter i have planned the longest, and perhaps that is why it flows so well. You will see ... Nah, I shall keep what you shall see a secret until you read it, my fellow Processors. Incubusted, Chapter Six", coming very to a Process thread near you. Also... thinking of switching SN to... "Professor Gear". What'cha think? Or mayhaps "Professor Processor". Hmm... Time to eat. __________________ Now accepting story commissions. My TG/BE/TF/SW story, "The Reluctant Salesman": http://www.process-productions.com/f...ad.php?t=20765 My BE/MG/GTS story, "The Perfect Evolution": http://www.process-productions.com/f...fect+evolution My TG/BE Story, "Incubusted": http://www.process-productions.com/f...ght=incubusted Last edited by GearRyu; 08-11-2006 at 08:31 PM.

08-12-2006	#2
Eviscerator FLAME Magnet! Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,851	I like the flying cars. __________________ Name:'Eviscerator' D.O.B: 1985 Age: 22 Gender: Male Occupation: Evil Minion of Wal-Mart Species: Homo Sapiens Sapiens Alignment: Neutral Listening To: Judas Priest - Burn in Hell

08-13-2006	#3
GearRyu Be Amused Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,712	To GenericName: I take it you enjoyed the story, then ;-) To CaptainAsh: It is possible to have not seen "Blade Runner" until now because I "never got around to seeing it". Then I remembered it, read about it somewhere, and found it in the movie rentals. Interesting movie; not the best action, or sci-fi, or characters, but decent enough to warrant a viewing. Now... concerning the "fuck ups". I was uncertain what you mean by that. If you mean "too many f-bombs", I can understand the complaint. I actually had several more in there in the first draft, but cut a few out. The principle of the matter was to show, through his crude language, that he had screwed up major (more of "bad boy" than a "dapper masher" type). And, hm... You were unaware he was turned female? Peculiar... I will check the phrasing of his transformation from Chapter 5. I try to be clear about character actions, and event settings (unless being purposely vague), so I always like to know where the readers get confused. Glad you enjoyed the final fight. Yep, Sella'kib got taken out. As for Ultormiglok, a compromise had to be reached. Tormivol is bad-ass, but having a villain who might actually be capable of beating him (a phyrric victory) forces the characters to put the guns away (metaphorically-speaking) and negotiate. Demons dealing with demons - Tormivol is as adept at that as he is with fighting. Hm... I do not completely understand your comment about "his mother would be turned mad..." You mean upset that Drazz'mik is a girl? She was upset enough to skewer Sella'kib with a claw of heaven-fire. If you mean "upset with Drazz'mik, teaching him a lesson", she might be doing that. Drazz'mik is essentially stuck as a female until (s)he overcomes Ultormiglok. Something similar to "Chrono Trigger", where the only way Frog can return to his human guise is by slaying Magus. Glad you enjoyed the inner conflict. What does "Fazit" mean? ^^ And, sequel? Hmm... When I provide my After Thoughts, I will discuss such possibilities. ^^ Thank you for the incoming feedback! Now I am going to watch "Alien" for the first time, which, coincidentally, is by the same director of "Blade Runner", Ridley Scott. __________________ Now accepting story commissions. My TG/BE/TF/SW story, "The Reluctant Salesman": http://www.process-productions.com/f...ad.php?t=20765 My BE/MG/GTS story, "The Perfect Evolution": http://www.process-productions.com/f...fect+evolution My TG/BE Story, "Incubusted": http://www.process-productions.com/f...ght=incubusted

08-13-2006	#4
Eviscerator FLAME Magnet! Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,851	Let this be a lesson to you when writing stories. Skip the cattleprods when you're chasing something that just burst out of the chest of a crew mate. Go straight for the flamethrowers and don't feel conservative about the trigger. Never walk on grates, and always remember to stay together, one person looking up, the others watching forward, aft, and one coverting the sides if possible. Heheh..Facerape. Alien is so..so wrong. __________________ Name:'Eviscerator' D.O.B: 1985 Age: 22 Gender: Male Occupation: Evil Minion of Wal-Mart Species: Homo Sapiens Sapiens Alignment: Neutral Listening To: Judas Priest - Burn in Hell

08-14-2006	#5
roadside_fury Frequent Poster Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Small shack on Route 66. Posts: 168	What the marines on Aliens needed was a couple of USAS 12's, that nice clip fed automatic shotgun. And those one hip-mounted mg's were wussy, they used the same ammo as the rifles. If they can hip mount those, they can hip-mount a 50 caliber Browning. __________________ Roadside_Fury, your everyday road rage specialist. "We again apologize for the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking those responsible have now been sacked."

03-31-2010	#7
Cadell Custom User Title Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 679	Re: Story - Incubusted I know it's a horrible necro, but I just read this and thought it was fantastic. That is all. __________________ This is a signature.