Mail Order Bride, A new TG story..

[dartnet]

Originally Posted by Detatched

Paints?

Spell check my greatest foe next to Alex Trebek....

[Apsm]

So he became the woman from the dating site...then where's "Yuki's" date supposed to be?

Also, during part one...

Then his cheeks itched he scratched at them and to his surprise he got stubble like he had just shaved.

I think that needs to be changed to suggest he's losing stubble instead of gaining it.

And in part 5

Another wave of pain hit as his testatrices entered his body.

Do you mean testicles?

Otherwise, whilst I found the sequence pretty simple, it's a decent enough tg.

[dartnet]

Originally Posted by Apsm

So he became the woman from the dating site...then where's "Yuki's" date supposed to be?

Also, during part one...



I think that needs to be changed to suggest he's losing stubble instead of gaining it.

And in part 5



Do you mean testicles?

Otherwise, whilst I found the sequence pretty simple, it's a decent enough tg.

Thank you for the feed back. To answer your question. John may have a little surprise if I ever do a part 2.