Attribute Theft/Transfer

[VincentJ]

Any idea what caused the transfer? Was it a wish? Or did it just happen for no real reason?

[Shadowsbane99]

I really only skimmed the movie to find the transformations, but I get the feeling it was science based, but can't say for certain. All I could tell was it SEEMED that SHE did it and she did it on purpose.

[Janus Steel]

I've actually been working on an attribute theft story between my two characters Mirlinth & Sevikira. It's still in roughest rough drafts but I was wondering if anyone would want to read/critique it to help give me ideas. I know sorta how I want the story to end but I wouldn't mind feed back.

I've been so busy working on my web comic that writing has become tedious and I decided to take a break from that to produce something fun. At least I think it's fun.

[Gumbyx84]

Originally Posted by avatar2xl

Why hello thar origin of this fetish. For me at least.

Same here.

[Max AP]

Originally Posted by Mirlinthloth

I've actually been working on an attribute theft story between my two characters Mirlinth & Sevikira. It's still in roughest rough drafts but I was wondering if anyone would want to read/critique it to help give me ideas. I know sorta how I want the story to end but I wouldn't mind feed back.

I've been so busy working on my web comic that writing has become tedious and I decided to take a break from that to produce something fun. At least I think it's fun.

I can take a look at your story and give you some feedback during the weekend if you want. I'm always looking foward to read some new transfer material.

Max

[godleydemon]

Hey Max, -looks left, looks right- I think its time for a new attribute theft story, -chuckles- wanna colab?

[Ninja Jay]

GD btw "GET ON WITH IT"
LOL for me it was Totally spies
I'll tel you one thing, the show had alot of Process
FETISH FUEL FTW

[godleydemon]

lol yeah I know I keep saying I'm going to write just been so damn hectic with the kids, lol. and now I have a job <.< been a stay at home dad for the past 3 yrs so we'll see what happens now with the job.

[Max AP]

Originally Posted by godleydemon

Hey Max, -looks left, looks right- I think its time for a new attribute theft story, -chuckles- wanna colab?

Hehe, even I love to write transfer stories, my free time has been reduced considerably. Right now, I can help with ideas and feedback, but beyond is hard.

Max

[LOD]

http://www.process-productions.com/f...d.php?p=459776

looks like Lara croft is a very giving person....

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by Max AP

Hehe, even I love to write transfer stories, my free time has been reduced considerably. Right now, I can help with ideas and feedback, but beyond is hard.

Max

lol, well. I can see what I can come up with over the next few days. I've been tossing around some ideas but haven't put them really to paper yet. I do have a rough draft that isn't finished and very rough, lol. your welcome to read some of it max as it isn't done yet. the grammar is horrible in it because a lot of it needs re written because I was writing it in a hurry before I lost the idea.

[Max AP]

Originally Posted by godleydemon

lol, well. I can see what I can come up with over the next few days. I've been tossing around some ideas but haven't put them really to paper yet. I do have a rough draft that isn't finished and very rough, lol. your welcome to read some of it max as it isn't done yet. the grammar is horrible in it because a lot of it needs re written because I was writing it in a hurry before I lost the idea.

Interesting reading and certainly the story has a lot of potential. Certainly you need to flesh out some points but since this is more like a draft and I understand that.

One important thing that you should keep if the first person narrative. You have done well with the girl lossing the traits. Now, you should keep that first person narrative when you talk about the girl gaining them.

That way you can have two narrators and people can read from the perspective of both girls.

You are also doing well explaining the changes in the girl and of course, how those affect them. In the case of the first girl who she panics with her clothes doesn't fitting them and how lose or tight they are in some areas. The same you can do with the second girl explaining how good her clothes fit her now.

About the story, I can imagine that you started it in some point of the future since the firt girl mentions that this will be another night in which a part of her will be stolen and she also know who gets benefit from it. So that can be a nice hook to get people interested to see in which point of lost she is when you begin the story and what had happened so far.

About the transfer method, that is nice and it seems like a time period activation, so after sometime the transfer will take place without any girl influencing on it.

I wish you the best luck with your story my friend and if you need more feedback or comments once you work some more on it, I will be more than glad to help you out.

Ah! You can bet that I will be looking foward for more of your story.

Max