Donkey TF experiments

[CantSaySeeSaw]

I can think of a partial tf as being something like that, but never a full one. One does not escape by enclosing themselves in just another type of prison. To be trapped within one's mind with no sense of autonomy is both terrifying and sadistic to me. It's worse than murder. Worse than death.

Also, I view the human condition as both a responsibility and a privilege. To abandon it is not to let go of strife, it is the abandonment of choice and an acceptance of ignorance. What do you truly gain, peace of mind? Not really, you don't have mind anymore. Unless you do then we are back at the prison analogy.

Anything less than your current mind is an elimination of your ability to choice. The complete destruction of your free will. You can't even argue the illusion of it.

A partial tf I can justify as an addition to one's humanity. A full realization of one's self. The visualization of the soul if you are so inclined. I don't like subtracting from someone is I guess what I'm getting at particular especially the mind.

To escape is to obtain freedom and establish more control of one's self. Freedom is fought for, not submitted to. "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

My background is a bit rough. Not totally abusive, but undesirable and at the time unescapable. My mother was part of that wave of housewives who were prescribed, and became addicted to, oxycontin. My father (who stepped up to be a single parent when she left) is often difficult and quick to yell. My mother would occasionally hit me, and when I was a small child, I remember a few occasions where lines were definitely crossed. Family has told me that I appeared to be afraid of both of my parents, who loved me and were not complete monsters, and I think that's part of what "made" me this way. I was convinced my mother would know if I lied to her. In fact, one time she was pestering me about what I thought about when I touched myself (which is inappropriate and made me uncomfortable, but she thought I was gay and was not okay with it if I was) so when I said, "Well... I like people turning into animals" (super difficult to say aloud) she said, "No one else is like that. Don't tell anyone." I thought she meant no one touched themselves. A whole new level oppression began, where I would lay awake and try not to masturbate because I thought I was a freak. Luckily, I discovered TSA a few years later and it was a major life-changer to know I wasn't alone.

When you're stuck in a place where you anything you do might be wrong, and being wrong means you will be either be hit, cornered and screamed at, or embarrassed in some other way (one time, I cut my own hair, and before they took me to get it fixed, they drove me to my grandpa's house so they could laugh at me) becoming an animal is an escape. Yes, losing your humanity is worse then death, but that's part of the appeal for me. I don't usually like mind-change in my TF, but there is a huge appeal in being stuck in a body that is not mine.

I prefer alcohol, drug, and food triggers as well. Punishment for indulgence. In real life, I only drink occasionally, I eat healthy, I run a lot, I don't own many things, I listen to the people in charge. For a long time, I thought if I disobeyed, I would turn into a donkey, and so I always made sure to behave. It's only now, in my mid-twenties, that I've come around to not listening to people implicitly. I've come to the same conclusion as you-- freedom must be fought for.

I know this is maybe off-topic, didn't mean to get into a bunch of my personal shit, but maybe this will frame my TF identity a little better and encourage others to explore the root of their own.

[Journeymanic]

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to dredge all that up. Hugs

You sound like you're in a better place now, but know if you need to talk even just to talk I, and I'm sure many others here, are available to you. Also, please know that I was not condemning you or anything in my rant. Just trying to express my feelings and personal opinions. Just because I don't care for something doesn't make it wrong, particularly for a fantasy.

I suppose I'm just the kind of guy who would treat you like a human being with the respect one deserves even if you were to make a literal ass of yourself.

(I feel like that attempt at light heartedness both came off as creepy and failed spectacularly. lol)

[CantSaySeeSaw]

Originally Posted by Journeymanic

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to dredge all that up. Hugs

You sound like you're in a better place now, but know if you need to talk even just to talk I, and I'm sure many others here, are available to you. Also, please know that I was not condemning you or anything in my rant. Just trying to express my feelings and personal opinions. Just because I don't care for something doesn't make it wrong, particularly for a fantasy.

I suppose I'm just the kind of guy who would treat you like a human being with the respect one deserves even if you were to make a literal ass of yourself.

(I feel like that attempt at light heartedness both came off as creepy and failed spectacularly. lol)

Oh no its ok! I'm really in a much better place. I've been all over the country, I'm very self sufficient, and I've worked through much of my shit. TF has stopped being so alluring as a result, but it's still part of me. I just wanted to explain why some people might like a more traumatic version of TF.

[Anahki]

Originally Posted by cantdayseesaw

Oh no its ok! I'm really in a much better place. I've been all over the country, I'm very self sufficient, and I've worked through much of my shit. TF has stopped being so alluring as a result, but it's still part of me. I just wanted to explain why some people might like a more traumatic version of TF.

Right. Curiously, I've had a very pleasant childhood and almost no traumas or whatsoever, but my likeness for violent/painful/scary TFs probably comes from my preferences for horror movies. I would say that they come hand to hand in a somewhat natural way.
Just to note that I believe that it is very brave to confess your problems of the past, but braver is to get over them. That makes us wiser and mature... and even better persons in certain cases :P.

[dorintf]

Thanks for sharing all of that. I've always thought of TF as a way to escape from my body and humanity as a whole, but I've never considered it as a way to escape from physical and mental abuse. That puts a whole new spin on it, and I think it's beautiful in its own way.

So for me, the first time I saw sex at a young impressionable age was the sex scene in The Howling. I got turned on and assumed it was the TF and not sex that was the reason (I had no idea what these two people were doing rolling around on the ground on top of each other unless they were just hugging it out really, really hard). So my brain got mixed up at a very early age. I remember playing with action figures, mostly He-Man and Ninja Turtles, and arranging them in a line from characters that were completely human down the line to those that were animal-like. I would play a game where the characters would eventually "change" from one figure to the next. Actually, I still mentally play that game to this day when I'm bored at work or something.

Growing up, whenever I would get a pre-puberty erection I would ask my parents what exactly the fuck was happening and would be told not to talk about stuff like that. I remember once telling my mom that it happened whenever I thought about people turning into werewolves. I also told two friends of mine that it happened whenever someone was turning into something else in a movie. I really, really fucking hope none of these individuals remember that at all. I imagine they might suspect, as I kept renting The Howling and its horrible sequels and other movies that featured TF constantly when I was a kid. And in my mid-twenties I bought and read Gary Brandner's The Howling novel trilogy, which led to my dad asking why exactly I was doing that. I live in fear about someone in my uber-Christian circle of friends and family finding out about it.

Fast forward to my early 30s (I'm 34 now, yes ancient beyond all meaning of the word) and I got involved with a woman that I thought was the love of my life. I was open with her about pretty much everything except a few things (depression, a suicide attempt, and of course TF). When we were taking a trip across the country I let her know about all of this stuff. She was completely cool with it, even looking forward to some role-playing stuff. I remember her saying "I'm going to have such fun with you doing this stuff." I kept thinking that I had better stay with this woman for the rest of my life, because someone this perfect only comes around once in a lifetime.

Yeah, that didn't work out so well. She made it a point never to talk about it, despite me asking quite a lot if she wanted to. I was overjoyed just to have someone to talk to about it, even if we didn't work it into the bedroom or anything. I had just kept it to myself (aside from this forum and one other one, now long gone) for so long that it was just such a relief to talk about it, especially with someone who claimed to be very interested in it. But she would only talk about it when prompted and seemed very reluctant to do so. We even listened to Angrboda's excellent podcast together, at which point I could tell she was pretty weirded out. A few months later I found out she had a drinking problem (along with about a billion other ones--being in love with someone with borderline personality disorder is not easy). When she was drunk (and sometimes even when she wasn't) she would make really mean-spirited comments about it, which made me subconsciously pull away from her and back into the old standby of TF art and stories. Once I purchased the novel Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland (which was actually a pretty good read), not thinking anything about it. In hindsight I should have known this would be hurtful to her, but she went so far as to accuse me of "cheating" on her, which was I think a bit overboard. It came to a head once when she said that TF was something that could potentially lead to bestiality and that she didn't understand how someone that was interested in it wouldn't have a predisposition towards that. She even half-insinuated that some volunteer work that I did regularly at a local humane society might be because of an interest in that. Needless to say I am definitely NOT into that and fucking despise the idea of it (I guess that was so needless to say that I felt the need to say it. Anyway.). After we broke up after this and a billion other problems (after seeing two relationship counselors), I became--and still am--really reluctant to discuss this with anyone outside of this community. I really look forward to going to my first furry convention that has a TF panel (whenever that will happen) and actually meeting some people face to face that have this interest. Whenever that actually comes about, lunch is on me.

So, yep, there's my long-winded and pointlessly personal origin story. It's like Batman only with less dead parents and more werewolf porn. Hooray!

[EduartBoudewijn]

I've been a lurker in this thread for a while; I never really felt like I had much to contribute.

Just today I drew a donkey TF. Apologies for the double post for the people who watch my TF thread on this forum, but I figured that I might as well post it in this thread as well for the people not familiar with my work. I hope you all enjoy it.

[CantSaySeeSaw]

Originally Posted by EduartBoudewijn

I've been a lurker in this thread for a while; I never really felt like I had much to contribute.

Just today I drew a donkey TF. Apologies for the double post for the people who watch my TF thread on this forum, but I figured that I might as well post it in this thread as well for the people not familiar with my work. I hope you all enjoy it.

THIS is really excellent. I love the ring around her ear and her posture, if that makes sense.

Dorin, I'm sorry you had that experience with your partner. I know at least three or four other people who had something similar happen. I've had it happen to me to-- at first they're like "cute! A kink" but when they think about it, they get creeped out. I'm not even sure why I find the scenario embarassing. Being a donkey just isn't that bad, but if it actually started happening I would panic.

There are receptive people out there, more if you count the people who won't play but don't care what porn you're into. It's worth being honest about. Transparency is freeing, though I've had plenty if people tease me about it in a way that hurt my feelings. What has helped me is practicing saying "I like people turning into animals" and then I never elaborate what species.

[Anahki]

Originally Posted by cantdayseesaw

THIS is really excellent. I love the ring around her ear and her posture, if that makes sense.

Dorin, I'm sorry you had that experience with your partner. I know at least three or four other people who had something similar happen. I've had it happen to me to-- at first they're like "cute! A kink" but when they think about it, they get creeped out. I'm not even sure why I find the scenario embarassing. Being a donkey just isn't that bad, but if it actually started happening I would panic.

There are receptive people out there, more if you count the people who won't play but don't care what porn you're into. It's worth being honest about. Transparency is freeing, though I've had plenty if people tease me about it in a way that hurt my feelings. What has helped me is practicing saying "I like people turning into animals" and then I never elaborate what species.

Yes, and the irony is that we would prefer someone who were into it. I mean, it is not mandatory but surely that a girl would get many "extra points" if she had the same preferences like me. Donkey, wolf... well, I am more wolf-thing but I love to meet people who can understand my personal tastes, and share it .

[CantSaySeeSaw]

Originally Posted by Anahki

Yes, and the irony is that we would prefer someone who were into it. I mean, it is not mandatory but surely that a girl would get many "extra points" if she had the same preferences like me. Donkey, wolf... well, I am more wolf-thing but I love to meet people who can understand my personal tastes, and share it .

I would love to have sex with someone I was aligned with at least once.

[Anahki]

Originally Posted by cantdayseesaw

I would love to have sex with someone I was aligned with at least once.

That's one of those things that I consider statistically "out of reach". I know, these things happen... sometimes to someone.

[Dr. Otto]

Originally Posted by thatnightwolf

This also seems vaguely familiar, but I doubt if I have it saved on any hard drives. I'll look around though. Do you remember anything else about the comic? Like maybe the site you were visiting or what the art style was like?

I think I first saw it on Transfur, but I've never been able to locate it there again. I dunno, maybe I'm just not looking hard enough.

I remember the style being very cartoonish and not overly realistic.

[CantSaySeeSaw]

Originally Posted by Dr. Otto

I think I first saw it on Transfur, but I've never been able to locate it there again. I dunno, maybe I'm just not looking hard enough.

I remember the style being very cartoonish and not overly realistic.

Try looking at Transfur using the way back machine? I was thinking I might have seen it on If Wishers or Doc's Lab. It isn't Eala Dubh or whoever is it?