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Unread 10-04-2023   #13
Prof_Sai
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

Feeling low: Giving her the mouse seemed really badly thought out. That thing could have bit her arm off. I'd have been horrified. Depression is a REALLY hard topic to write for.

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Originally Posted by chocolatejr9 View Post
would anybody be willing to give me some pointers on how to write a GOOD story? I already have a rough idea where I want my story to go, but I feel I could maybe use a few pointers, just in case.
Okay.

Full sized villains may be hard to avoid, but don't let them dominate everything that happens. Keep them in the background. And give them some realistic motivation, not just I'm horrible, or my victim is horrible.

Your heroines aren't perfect. But shrinking is going to be a wildly disproportionate punishment for anything relatable. Accidental shrinking, or least bad choice, is the most fun IMHO.

It is probably easier to have multiple shrinkees, so that they can talk to each other and do more things. Find as many ideas you can about the shrinking itself and its consequences. Have your characters do things. A few panels of shock and despair are okay, but if they spend a half hour crying, (which is realistic) give them the dignity of cutting away or past it.

Write your ending first. I'm so sick of all these stories that are ten minute reads, and then to be continued in 5 years or never. And think about what state your character is in at the end. Is she left hating everyone else in the story? Feeling traumatized and powerless? The world doesn't need more of that right now.

I'd recommend fun and comedy, but the ShrinkFan house style doesn't handle it well.
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Unread 10-04-2023   #14
mrsenoreddie
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

I enjoyed the comic but I was actually thinking she was gonna shrink smaller until her friend would remind her about what else she would lose. The hamster kinda feels a an off thing to live for although if the comic ended with her still tiny with the hamster watching a movie, it would have brightened things up.

But I dug it.
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Unread 10-04-2023   #15
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

I've never been fond of the violence, abuse, or villains getting away with it in SW stories either. And certainly never a fan of the "totally innocent woman who's done nothing to deserve it suffers horribly" thing, either.

I will cop to writing The Binding of Brittany, and to a lesser extent Two Birds in a Gilded Cage, but those were on commission. xD

Y'know, I should adapt Penny's Game for SFan. That's lesbian, largely consensual, and not much in the way of peril or bad vibes. Definitely kinda fluff on the characters, but ya can't have everything. lol
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Unread 10-05-2023   #16
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

Well I for one ship the ladies in this particular comic.
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Unread 10-05-2023   #17
chocolatejr9
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

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Originally Posted by qzar9999 View Post
I've never been fond of the violence, abuse, or villains getting away with it in SW stories either. And certainly never a fan of the "totally innocent woman who's done nothing to deserve it suffers horribly" thing, either.

I will cop to writing The Binding of Brittany, and to a lesser extent Two Birds in a Gilded Cage, but those were on commission. xD

Y'know, I should adapt Penny's Game for SFan. That's lesbian, largely consensual, and not much in the way of peril or bad vibes. Definitely kinda fluff on the characters, but ya can't have everything. lol
That could be fun, though didn't you write that as an ebook? How would that work with publishers and whatnot?
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Unread 10-05-2023   #18
変な変態
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

sorry double post

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Unread 10-05-2023   #19
変な変態
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

@Doll-Elf
I very much dislike the stories mentioned as well. Guess there is still a sizable market for those. The problem for Shrinkfan is that the gentler cute stuff doesn't seem to attract as much attention as the crueler stories. Either in subscribers or people who submit comics. That's one of the downsides of having stories like this in a paid subscription. The people who enjoy the more cute/romantic stories are more likely to turn away when their subscriptions delivers stories that are cruel. This is probably less so for people who actually enjoy these stories as the gentler stuff doesn't repel them, these stories would probably be accessed as 'boring' rather then nasty. Thus as time goes on, the gentler stories could become even less of a draw.

Just speaking for myself, I would probably not subscribe to shrinkfan because of those IMO repulsive stories.

@Qzar9999
Interesting idea, might even bring more people to reading your stories. On a side note how is your new story coming along? And did you ever receive my Email?

@chocolatejr9
My two cents are, try to keep it simple and really focus on what you want to show. Too often I see people complain about comics with all setup and no payoff. You only get 15 pages, make sure as much of them as possible show what people want to see. And of course show, don't tell. Every bit of dialog should add to the story.

As for the content, I personally like a bit of embarrassment and loss of control. But it should fun to experience. Like maybe shrinking while getting aroused. I could think of a lot of ways how a girlfriend could shrink her partner by teasing her.

Last edited by 変な変態; 10-05-2023 at 05:40 PM. Reason: Wasn't clear who I was responding to
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Unread 10-05-2023   #20
qzar9999
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

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That could be fun, though didn't you write that as an ebook? How would that work with publishers and whatnot?
IWC has no problem with adapting existing works as long as we have the author's permission and as long as it never has and never will be adapted into a competing product (ie another comic). And since I'm the rights holder for my IP, I can't imagine it would result in any other kind of problem.
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Unread 10-06-2023   #21
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

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Originally Posted by chocolatejr9 View Post
Say, um... sorry for butting in on this conversation, but I'm actually hoping to write a Shrink Fan comic myself someday (not that it'll come out anytime soon: only got the first two pages written so far), and since you guys have been talking about everything you DON'T like about these types of stories, would anybody be willing to give me some pointers on how to write a GOOD story? I already have a rough idea where I want my story to go, but I feel I could maybe use a few pointers, just in case.
I found that Invisible Girl was pretty good and consensual despite it not being fully lesbian like I would prefer. I just skip over the penis scenes.

And personally, I prefer a slower shrink where we really get interactions at the 2-4 feet marks. Any smaller and I lose interest normally.
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Unread 10-06-2023   #22
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

Quote:
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Author RogueScholar here.

Can I ask what you mean by "deep meaning?" Other than the bit about "Laughing but only on the outside" that visually demonstrates how depression can affect people even when they seem relatively happy, I wasn't really digging too much into the concept. My initial thought for the story and the goal that I was working around was "what kind of person would want to shut themselves away and make their tiny living space their entire world?" I did try to be respectful about the topic and hope I didn't go too off course with its depiction, but it was really just one part of the picture I had in mind.
It's just that depression is a hard topic to write for and my depression comes off in extreme anxiety where I feel overly seen and mentally massive. Like everyone knows what I am thinking and what I did wrong. I feel 100 feet tall and not in a good way.

To me, shrinking is comfort. Being able to slip into someone's arms as they cradle me and smother me with love and kisses as I snuggle into their breasts. I don't have to think or do anything. I'm their pet and they decide everything for me. No bills. Just being taken care of like a good girl. (After writing this I know very well that I have mommy issues. Shush all of you.)



And the concept of depressed people wanting to 'vanish' with something outside of their control like depression is a stereotype to the point where some characters that can change size often get smaller to show they are sad. It's a cliche and personally I don't like the concept. That is not a critique on your writing, just the trope in general.
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Unread 10-06-2023   #23
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

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Originally Posted by Doll-Elf View Post
It's just that depression is a hard topic to write for and my depression comes off in extreme anxiety where I feel overly seen and mentally massive. Like everyone knows what I am thinking and what I did wrong. I feel 100 feet tall and not in a good way.

To me, shrinking is comfort. Being able to slip into someone's arms as they cradle me and smother me with love and kisses as I snuggle into their breasts. I don't have to think or do anything. I'm their pet and they decide everything for me. No bills. Just being taken care of like a good girl. (After writing this I know very well that I have mommy issues. Shush all of you.)

And the concept of depressed people wanting to 'vanish' with something outside of their control like depression is a stereotype to the point where some characters that can change size often get smaller to show they are sad. It's a cliche and personally I don't like the concept. That is not a critique on your writing, just the trope in general.
I really appreciate your clarification and I take no offense to your criticism about the trope. Couching your metaphor for your anxiety in size-talk was really interesting and has given me a bit to think about. Regardless, I hope I didn't cause any distress with my portrayal.


Honestly, me being a straight male, the way you described the appeal of shrinking is legitimately what I would want to give to my lover. I think the peril or confusion of the moment for her is what I rely on to let myself be her shoulder to lean on so I'm a bit more roundabout in that sense, but I absolutely get what you mean and I really do enjoy that kind of tenderness and romance of making her feel safe and loved, at least when it comes to the major emotions I want to express.

Other times, though...I think something about the situation being a bit mean or unfair can appeal to me too (if you've read "Clearence Sale" you can kind've see what I mean).
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Unread 10-06-2023   #24
mrsenoreddie
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Re: Feeling Low - Shrink Fan Comics

I think this one, Measure of a Warrior, Littlest Sister, Small Fortune are the ones that aren't the mean spirited ones.

Or Grading on a Scale or Belittling Belinda where the mean spirited are punished for good reasons.

I think that's why mentioned titles, Bedroom Games or Mistress feel better to read.
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