A Little too Much

[Random_X]

If you ever rewrote the ending and perhaps expanded on the universe, I think you'd have a real winner on your hands.

I hate to join the rest of the group, but I went from bookmarking this post to deleting it by the end. It's your world though, create it as you see fit!

[Captain Ash]

For those who have never read "little by little", I'd describe why the girl are shrinking.
I agree with the others that the ending was not great, especially since I'm not a fan of vore.

A little more detail why Becky wanted to shrink Jessica that badly would be nice.
I prefer stories where characters have a motive why they want to shrink someone.
Lust? Revenge? Teaching her a lesson or just for fun?
Its these little details.

[Prof_Sai]

Why does she keep shrinking when the lust turns to horror?

[Rebikan]

Originally Posted by Captain Ash

For those who have never read "little by little", I'd describe why the girl are shrinking.
I agree with the others that the ending was not great, especially since I'm not a fan of vore.

A little more detail why Becky wanted to shrink Jessica that badly would be nice.
I prefer stories where characters have a motive why they want to shrink someone.
Lust? Revenge? Teaching her a lesson or just for fun?
Its these little details.

Agreed with Captain here. Treating the shrinking as a fully fleshed out comeuppance can make the shrinking that much more interesting. Say if Jessica had used to bully Becky, or had done some thing unforgivable to her that warranted this response.

Either way the murder is a bit of a turnoff, but I totally get the setting of a girl being shrunk by a rival. It's very sexually enticing, especially if the girl shrinking finds out she likes it!

[Vicky Mouse]

Why do people like vore at all?

[qzar9999]

Originally Posted by Prof_Sai

Why does she keep shrinking when the lust turns to horror?

"Little By Little" vaguely established that the shrinking itself functions as an aphrodisiac, and if a girl goes too far down she basically loses all control. That could explain it.

Originally Posted by Vicky Mouse

Why do people like vore at all?

I've never understood that, myself. But the fact is that some folks do. *shrug*

Originally Posted by Rebikan

Agreed with Captain here. Treating the shrinking as a fully fleshed out comeuppance can make the shrinking that much more interesting. Say if Jessica had used to bully Becky, or had done some thing unforgivable to her that warranted this response.

Raso, this is a great suggestion. Rather than revising your ending, you could consider revising your *beginning,* making it so that Jessica deserves what she gets. That would take a lot of the tragic bite out of it.

[Marauder727]

Originally Posted by OhZone

...You should see what I did to the rewrite of "Inch By Inch." ha

Oh really? *Says the author of said rewrite*

Marauder727

[Raso719]

Originally Posted by Marauder727

Oh really? *Says the author of said rewrite*

Marauder727

I'd be interested in seeing this...

[OhZone]

Originally Posted by Marauder727

Oh really? *Says the author of said rewrite*

Marauder727

Hmmmmm. o_O You don't look like TDLAmador. But of course, qzar9999 doesn't look like the Beast either. ha


Inch by Inch - Original story by Steve Colburn - Revised by TDLAmador - Copy3x

http://www.imgpuppy.com/images/2018/...809e7c6421.jpg

I read the story through. Enjoy it. then I just highlight the hott process parts for me. Then I save it as an html so I can use scrolly fox to auto scroll it. But I don't share it like that. It's just for me. For maximum funz! :P