Curvaceous Cardinal Vices

[hmmm!]

Soy, you went and did it again! This thread just instantly quadrupled in its' worth!

What did I ever do to deserve it? You're just too good, y'know?

If I get enough time, maybe I'll color another one this weekend. We'll see.

[SoylentOrange]

Saying "Sins aren't supposed to be sexy" is silly- Of *course* they should be sexy, sins by their nature are the more appealing to one's base instincts. They're the easier, the more attractive, the more pleasurable. Sins are the "wide road", the easy path to take. Virtue is the "straight and narrow", the one that isn't as appealing but nonetheless better for you.

You *could* make the argument that only Lust should be sexy as that's her turf, but then the rest of the girls wouldn't have any place on this board, would it?

[hmmm!]

To anyone who wants to pop upward a few posts to that one where I colored Sloth, you can find Pride there now.

..and you thought Sloth was shiny?

[SoylentOrange]

Okay, here's the next part. Now with 100% more plot!
==========================================
She was just passing under the upstairs catwalk when a deep rumble passed through the house, like a peal of thunder across a darkened, moonless sky, followed by an unholy wail, the kind that penetrates down into one's soul, before fading into the wind like the last breath of a dying man.
"Mail's here!" Sloth called out from the den.
Envy went to the door, pulling it open and finding a black envelope smelling strongly of brimstone, and sealed with a red wax pentagram. Envy's eyes popped wide as she turned back inside, the envelope held lightly in her hands. The complete lack of identifying marks was actually quite informative, almost dangerously so. No sigils corresponding to which circle it came from, no secondary seals delineating department. An unmarked envelope meant it was coming from *the* Low Office, from the Dark One himself.
Envy hardly even heard Greed's hooves clopping down the steps as she turned the envelope around in her hands. Envy had just slid a finger under the seal when Greed snatched it from her, leaving the seal intact.
"Lemme see that!" She said hungrily, turning the letter over in her two left hands while she held back Envy's feeble attempts to take it back.
"Greeeed," Envy whined. "I had it first!"
"And I've got it now!" Greed said, grinning. "Now where's the... oh..." She trailed off, realizing as Envy had where the letter was from. "This is... this is..."
"Mine!" Wrath cackled as she took the letter from Greed.
"Hey!" Greed snapped, spinning from fending off Envy to trying to get the letter back from Wrath. Envy got a face full of mortal currency- everything from dollar bills to gold Sovereigns to clay cuneiform disks- as the "wings" from Greed's back whapped her in the face. Envy took a step back, wiping her eyes. Greed's money literally grew on trees, the gnarled black branches growing out of her back looking like they'd been through a fire but nonetheless blossoming with all the different kinds of money the world had ever known.
"Give it back! Greed said, continuing to struggle with Wrath.
"You wanna lock horns with me, cow-tits?" Wrath said, grinning despite her struggle. While she was certainly strong enough to overpower Greed, her four arms kept Wrath from being able to open the letter without getting a hand around her wrist or hooked around her elbow.
"Leggo, dammit!" Wrath said, holding the letter high above herself where Greed couldn't get to it. "Friggin' fire and brimstone, what I wouldn't give for Sloth's fat ass right now," She cursed as she turned and tried to push Greed away.
"That's so hot," Envy heard from her side, and turned to see Lust leaning against the door frame, her lip bit softly between her teeth and her arms hugging her enormous bosom. Envy shook her head, noticing as she turned back to the struggle that Gluttony was standing at the entrance to the Den, looking on amusedly as she ate from a large bowl of caramelled popcorn.
"Finders keepers!" Greed yelled as she tried to get the envelope. "I wanna open it!"
"Might makes- rrrgh- right!" Wrath yelled back. "I'm gonna open it!"
"I'LL. OPEN. IT." A voice boomed from upstairs, and all five girls froze in place, not a sound escaping the fighting girls, or anyone else for that matter. Even Sloth's television dropped silent, the den flickering mutely in soft blue light.
Every head turned toward the top of the stairs, where the turn of a latch echoed through the now-silent foyer. Envy gulped, turning her eyes down to the floor.

Pride was the Dark One's chosen favorite, and she knew it. She knew it, everyone knew it. Pride was the strongest of all the demons in the house, the undisputed leader of everything that the Vices did. Envy saw Wrath jab a finger at Pride in a moment of frustration, once. Pride grabbed wrath and flipped her bodily by that one finger, slamming her down to the floor with a force that could have broken adamantium. Were it not for their immortal natures, Envy was sure the blow would have killed Wrath. But the point was made. Pride's word was law.
"That is, if you all don't mind," Pride said as she paused at the top of the steps a condescending smile playing at her lips. All four of Envy's eyes squinted as she reluctantly lifted her head to look at Pride. She just couldn't help it.
Her skin was a shining, radiant silver, almost too shiny to look directly at. She walked slowly, the long, bony spur coming down from her heels clicking loudly as she descended the steps one at a time. Envy's skin, more like damp clay than anything else, could not begin to match the radiant shine of Pride's skin, the deep, vibrant blue of of her wings or the lush green of her feathers. Her claw-like high-heels finally came to rest on the bottom step, as Pride looked over the five other demons with a faint smile.
"I believe you have my mail," She said, leisurely reaching an open hand out to Wrath. Pride never did anything quickly; "in her good time" was, in her opinion, certainly good enough for everyone else.
Wrath glowered at the letter, probably contemplating wether to just tear it open then and there, but deep down she knew better. With a sigh, Wrath slapped the letter down on Pride's palm.
Pride took great care in turning the envelope over in her hands, and even her eyebrow perked up when she realized where the letter was from. She slid a single finger under the seal and opened it, the wax vanishing in a puff of sulfur. Pride unfolded the letter, reading it carefully. The tension in the room was palatable- Envy couldn't remember the last time she'd seen a plain black and red, not since the seven of them had first been brought together.
"Well," Pride said, folding the letter and putting it back in the envelope, "it appears we have work to do."
"'Work'? Just 'work'?" Wrath exclaimed. "we do work all the time! Boss-man wouldn't send us a letter himself unless there was some biblical-level crap going down!"
"Mm, yes," Pride said, turning and heading back for the stairs. "It is rather important, if Father would ask me personally." She paused at the bottom step, turning her head slightly towards the den. "Sloth, be a dear and come here, will you?"
As Pride slowly ascended the stairs, Sloth came padding up into the foyer as fast as the embodiment of laziness ever could, her massive rear end shaking side to side behind her. It was clear from her face she wasn't thrilled with moving period, much less hurrying, but when Pride called, you came.
"It seems we have an ordinary soul in need of extraordinary temptation," Pride said as she ascended the stairs, Greed and Wrath close behind, Lust, Gluttony, Envy and Sloth trailing. "While I certainly don't see why one ordinary soul would need skills of my caliber brought to bear against it, if Father wants it done- and done by the best- then I'll certainly oblige him."
"I hope he's not trying to go after the Pope again," Wrath said, "It's so boring when they won't fight back."
"They're always so *old*, besides," Sloth added. "Just leave 'em alone and they keel over in a few decades, tops."
"Obviously the matter is urgent enough that simply waiting for their mortal bodies to expire is insufficient," Pride said as she reached the landing and headed for the viewing room opposite her bedroom.

"We'd already know that if you'd just let us have the letter," Greed groused as she folded her arms.
"I'll be sure to explain things in a way you all can understand," Pride smirked as she came to the first of seven mirrors set around the perimiter of the room. She admired her reflection for an uncomfortable minute, before finally speaking to the mirror.
"Sidney Graham," She said, and the mirror's surface rippled and clouded over, revealing upon settling a young, dark-haired man asleep in bed, a serene look on his face.
"What," Greed asked, raising a hand in confusion, "That's it?"
"He's not even clergy!" Wrath added. "What's the deal?"
"It really doesn't seem like the kind of thing that needs all seven of us..." Sloth added, sitting down on the cushion set in front of her mirror.
"Dibs!" Lust said, grinning. "I don't care how many of us it takes, I want first crack at him. I think he's cute!"
"'Cute'?" Greed asked. "Didn't you say the same thing about the old guy in the wheelchair?"
"Hey, he wasn't *totally* paralyzed below the waist, if you know what I mean," Lust said, still grinning slyly. "Okay, he looks limber, how about that? At least a good couple pages of my book..."
"Oigh," Greed sighed, putting a hand to her forehead.
"While I'm certainly wise enough not to question Father's judgement," Pride cut in, still looking at the viewing mirror, "This does appear to be somwhat beneath my talents. Therefore, Lust may have her 'dibs'." Pride turned away from the mirror, the image fading back into a reflection of the room "First, however, we will pay a visit to Mr. Graham to learn his weaknesses. I will of course be leading the expedition, to ensure no flaw or foible is overlooked."
Pride left the viewing room and opened her door. "Do dress appropriately," Pride said as she went inside. "We're going topside again."
===============================================

[Hellstromm, Son of Satan]

1-Shouldn't Sloth be, well...a sloth?

2-Shouldn't Lust be a rabbit? (rabbits: the playas of the animal kingdom)

3-Shouldn't Gluttony be a pig?

4-Shouldn't Wrath be a bull or a bulldog?

5-Shouldn't Envy be a chameleon (always stealing everyone else's colors because it has no color of its own)?

6-Shouldn't Pride be a cat (most furries are catgirls, so most fetishists are proud of masturbating to catgirls)?

7-Shouldn't Greed be a regular human (as its the only animal who has the concept of greed ingrained into its system)?

[SoylentOrange]

1-Sloth does have sloth's claws, but she also has a bat's ears and wings, as they're always asleep during the day. The huge rear is indicative of the fact that she mostly just sits around.

2- The "Rabbits=Sex" thing is very, very cliche'. I think he went with the rose/venus flytrap combo because they're both plants that look alluring but are dangerous to get too close to.

3- Again, Pigs are the easy, cliche' route. Locusts are far more voracious eaters and have a biblical tie-in, to boot.

4- The Ram has long been a symbol of the occult/stanism, and Rams are where we get the aggressive term "butting heads" to begin with, so it seems perfectly appropriate to me.

5- Envy is part chameleopn, as the tail and color-changing skin would attest to...?

6- You'll be hard-pressed to find a more prideful animal than a peacock, and catgirls are so cliche' by this point as to be utterly tiresome.

7- Given the biblical reference to the golden calf, you'd be hard-pressed to make a case that a regular human would be more approriately symbolic than the golden calf.

[Soty]

Originally Posted by SoylentOrange

7- Given the biblical reference to the golden calf, you'd be hard-pressed to make a case that a regular human would be more approriately symbolic than the golden calf.

Symbolic of what? Greed? Methinks we're making a stretch tying that to the golden calf.

Not that the whole "the real monster is people" bit is a recent or startling revelation. We've known THAT since Godzilla. n.n

[SoylentOrange]

A stretch?

Originally Posted by Exodus

2 Aaron answered them, "Take off the gold earrings that your wives, your sons and your daughters are wearing, and bring them to me." 3 So all the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. 4 He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, "These are your gods, [b] O Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt."

Making your earthly wealth into your new god? Textbook greed if you ask me.

[Soty]

Isn't sacrificing one's personal baubles and valuable possessions in the name of worship decidedly UNgreedy?

Wasn't the lesson more on worshiping false idols?

And that's assuming that you don't entertain the notion that it's a subtle astrological reference.

[SoylentOrange]

When you've made gold your God you value it (wealth) above all else. Because, the logic goes, if you had even more gold you could make a bigger god, a more divine idol. And of course, there's always the temptation that it could always be bigger.

There's no "sacrifice" involved- you're canoninzing your personal wealth into something divine.


And when you get down to it, all the cardinal sins are a matter of idolatry- Lust is the idolizing of carnal pleasures beyond any moral constraints, gluttony is idolizing the consumption of food beyond the bounds of good health, pride is the idolizing of the self. The Golden Calf is a specific biblical reference to the idolization of one's wealth given physical form, so I say again that the golden calf is a spot-on reference to pull Greed from and it seems myopic to think otherwise.

[Soty]

Myopic. Derived from myopia, or short-sidedness. The blurring of things together. Kind of like calling every vice idolatry, isn't it?

Similarly, we could make the point that every vice is, in a way, stealing, even though that's clearly more like greed. Couldn't we?

I still think your logic is fundamentally flawed that building an idol is (supposedly) a sin of greed. Would it be a sin of greed later, when the temples themselves later amassed huge sums of wealth (making them, also, ripe for the looting)? Clearly, in the logic of the story, it's okay to give money to God. Y'know, so long as you don't gamble with it in church, I guess. But that's a whole 'nother testament. n.n

Again, you can make that connection if ya want. But it's still a stretch if you understand the meaning of that particular account.

[edit]No offense to Hmm. It's an awesome series!

[SoylentOrange]

"if you understand the meaning of that particular account"?

Awesome, we apparently have a biblical scholar on our hands. Please, elighten us as to what the true meaning of making an idol entirely out of gold really represents.