Closing my Doors

[SoylentOrange]

Originally Posted by GenYun

I stumbled onto some of my stuff on g-hentai. I was quite please, I felt I reached a landmark.

Haha, I felt the exact same way. "Dude, someone's posting my stuff on g-e hentai! And they like it! F'ing awesome!!"

Honestly though, I find it very hard to work up sympathy. the internet is going to steal your work, period. Either you can take a part time job hunting it down all the time wherever and whenever it appear, like bustartist does, or you can accept that's the nature of the beast and work with it. Throwing a bitch-fit over it and quitting posting on the internet entirely seems like overreaction to the point of absurdity.

[Amazeroth]

Hey thank you all for your nice words and some points to think over. At first, the criticism isn't the point why i decided to finish my work (or why i don't upload anything new).

As artist you allways need to handle with criticism and after a while you learn that there are different ways to handle it. It give positive and negative. To positive one. As example: Someone told you "Hey, your work shows me some talent, but i would change that or draw it in that way" and he/she show you on your work what he/she meant. The negative: "Your work is crap, stolen by other real artists. You can't draw and your english skills looks like you are at Kindergarten etc...." Normaly i ignore option two. I work houres on every picture, i create them in my mind and draw it over Illustrator, Flash or Photoshop. For a simple Flash animation i need months. I also know that my english skill isn't perfect, but i work on it. And on my work, on my friendships or here everyone understand what i want to say, maybe not with the best grammer but everyone know that it isn't easy to learn a language without any help and i am proud about it that i got so far with my selfmade skills.

No why i decide to finish it all was the hater mails. After i upload a picture or animation i know that a lot of people watch it, some of them put them in their favorite lists and only a small part of that people let a comment on it, that is oke for me. I know that i have some reputation, i know some of you people after we have talked, i know some artists because we talked and shared our works to see what the other one would change on it. But what i not like is to get hate mails. My e-mail adress was open for everyone, not only for commissions but to get mails with pure hate, that hurts alot. I know the world isn't nice, as ex Soldier and lone fighter i know it perfectly. But if you get mails with something like that: "Amazeroth you should be killed for crappy shit like this!". we can see how you would feal. I can tell you: That sucks. I send this mail to my lawyer. the other e-mails was harsh to read but all had the same tenor: My work is shit, my english is crap, my work is stolen (it isn't, i work on every picture 16-20 houres, on every animation months) etc. And that hurts in two houres 342 times. I gave my best, for clients from commissions, earlier time for requests or complete ideas from me to bring it to the people who liked transformation arts.

At least; i often hear that my works are simple. Yes they are. It is my style. Years ago as i switched from anime works to western style (2002/2003 after i lost my complete life here in Germany the first time) i think about the qualitiy from comics or animations. Sure, i could draw complex work and let it colouring from a pro. But i didn't want this. I want something that looks clear and easy but with a high quality. Something that everyone could watch and understand, that is why i draw my works as i did. Not so complex as BustArtists Comics, not so scary as Mamabliss Pictures but with my own charm. I was an artist that draw with clear black lines and i decided to do it further but bether. I also saw that some artists break with the community, they lost the feed. The only point why they wrote something here or at another places was to make some comercials ala :"Look at that Cover or single Picture samples. That is from my newest work....you can buy it on XY.com" I want to hold the feeling. Sure i make comercials too but i left other comments or say something without the background that i want to sell. It wasn't positiv every time but that is normal, but i stay in touch with the base. ANother part was my prices for my commissions. Some say they was to high. Yes they was. I watched what other good artists want for their work and subtracted 10-20 percents from it. It was over the pricedumping with 5$ for a complete picture ( a work that the client mostly pays and mostly never get something) and cheaper as the professionals. I got a lot of commissions and at this moment i worked for that person. We talked and i get him or her on her nerves with the smallest detail. If he or she didn't like what i create i changed it so long that he or she like it and at this time the client had to pay for it, not earlier. If someone didn't like completly what i createt i would destroy the work and skip the commission, but that never happen

I don't knot that i return some day with my work, but i am still a part of the community. I read and wrote in the treads. If something want something to know, need a tipp about some drawings/animations, is a beginner in the scene or have a commission idea that he/she don't want to upload on the internet, my email amazeroth2002@yahoo.de is active.

At friday i got a very hard headache but today i am very happy after i read all the nice comments here, some of you send me an mail too. Thank you all for this. The world is hard, a lot of people are hard, but we are the Transformation Community; We don't need to be hard to each other. Some draw, some write and other watch, we all share the love to the Transformation in seperate ways (Breast Expanion, Weight Gain, Shrinking, Age Re/Progressive, Transgender etc etc) that's all us

Love and respect,
Jim aka Amazeroth

[vincent_richter]

SoylentOrange: So you're cool with people jacking your art, then telling you to die in a fire? Cool. Not everyone is chill enough to react like that.

That being said...

Amazeroth: I wish I could come up with some complex explanation why all the voices here are wrong, and that you have every right to go through with this plan to stop posting completely and forever. Thing is, I can't. I can't because they're right. The biggest middle-finger you can give your haters is to not let them get to you, to not make it public even when they do. When you do that, they win. I know it's rough, cruel, and painful; but, are you really gonna let the shitheads win?

Your choice, but if I drew anything I thought was worth a damn, I'd keep going.

[HC-911]

Amazeroth...

First of all, I am truly and deeply sorry. I apologize on behalf of all those 300 and some-odd people that have wronged you.

But I disagree. Hatred and sorrow, all that does is fester. Getting angry at these people accomplishes nothing. Feeling saddened and rejected doesn't either.

I know more than anyone what it feels like to be disapproved of, rejected and hated.

I don't have much artistic talent. I'm not charming or witty. I don't crack jokes, just my voice when trying to talk to somebody.

All I have is my English skills, and even that's not perfect, not enough to give me any degree of success or praise.

I don't know whether you lot would consider me old or not, but to be the better part of 3 decades old and look back to ask "Was I ever appreciated? Did anyone care?" and the answer coming back is "No."

It does hurt, bro. It hurts a lot. And to throw your fists up. To punch a punching bag or a wall or break a cheap piece of pottery? Go ahead. Vent some frustration.

But listen to me, and this is the point of my message: Get back onthat horse, man. Maybe it's not the prettiest horse. Maybe it's seen more than its share of cruelty.

But I for one get back up there. I do things my way. And I do my best to spread doing things the right way. That is: Being nice and polite and doing my best both for myself and others, despite all the pain and hardship along the way.

If you're looking for a reason, something to make it worthwhile, then consider this: "If I'm nice, that's one less angry stupid-ass message going out into the world." One less jerky gesture, eh?

These guys can be mean and disapprove. But we won't, huh?

Yeah. That's my message.

And I use to think that perhaps the best thing was to confront these people, show them why they're so hurtful. But that doesn't work in real life and it works less on the internet, all that does is set you up for more pain and misery.

So do your best to smile and say "Today's a good day. There's good people in the world and I'm going to do (this) because it's fun and I enjoy it."

That's why I write. And I figure if even one person. Just 1 other person likes what I do, then I AM successful.

Cheers.

[Abazaba]

Well spoken. I understand you. All I know is you shall be missed. Hope you find your way back one day. Until then, you deserve to be able to lurk till then. If nothing else hope you still read and comment on other things. Stay active even if it is not art/stories. It is good for you and the community.

[ryguy90]

What a shame to loss a master of the art over the hate of lesser minds.

[vaxon]

You were one of the greats. Im sad and sorry to say i had one story on my phone but i did two things. printed it and gave it a viking funeral and then deleted the story. so you know it never left my sd and was excluded from backups. your work is now consented with the ages.

[tsokei]

Sorry to hear about this as well.

[The Lord of War]

seems rather drastic no? i hope emotion wasn't a major factor in this

[Lurkergg]

Sorry to hear that happened to you.

But do not take any of those emails seriously. They where all most likely sent by the same few people and were made to dishearten you.

Do not give them that control over you. They wanted to use your art without your permission and would rather see no new art then stop what they were doing.

These guys don't no have the ability or will to create so they rather destroy.

[Amazeroth]

Hey thank you all for the positive feedbacks. Some of you guys sended me emails too. Thank you.

In four days i start my vacation for two weeks. I visit old family friends in newport beach. I am very curious about it. It is the first time, after i won a greencard six month ago, that i visit the U.S.A.. I hope, i can relax at the beach and enjoy the american life. In that time i think about all what happend in the last weeks, refill my own batteries and what i will do after that two weeks....

But i can say: I never was a guy to give up. I was very sad about that dumbass emails, true. The "DeathEnd" Email got my lawyer, it is her case now and i allready got a name and the adress of that goofy that wrote and send this mail to me.

But i am sure, you all would hear...or....more see of me and my work. Maybe over blogger or an own page like BustArtist or Snaketrap. My old works are mostly deleted, but i am what i am and i am sure that i need my digital pen again soon to create some girls with growing assets or guys that turn into girls....

Thank you all

[Gagecoalbrace]

I believe I speak for a lot of people when I say take as long as you need to recharge we can wait (some of us that is). I am glad you have decided to not give up.