Flu Shots Part Five (Ready 12 16)

[VoltTron]

I actually enjoyed this one a lot. If you're not into the plot and just interested in seeing a lot of people getting regressed then it's pretty good.

[monkat]

I will agree that it wasn't as good as it could be due to narrative issues, but I still enjoyed it for what it was.

[DangerousDave]

Originally Posted by Janus Steel

I can't be the only one who thought Zoe deserves some sort of comeuppance or something. Most of your stories seem to have the two female leads just make amends instead of simmering or acting like real people.

I thought Madison expressed her anger rather realistically. I certainly didn't expect her to resort to physical violence, but I guess it does fit her character, an extreme version of how she punished her siblings by making them go jogging in the first chapter.

I did feel things were a little rushed though. The fight was too short, and we jumped to them making up a little too quickly. I'd like it more if Madison stormed off after Austin broke up the fight, and if it took a little longer to make up. Maybe after Zoe somehow made amends, or paid a little for how she behaved. The parallel between the sisters is a bit of a stretch in my opinion - they weren't both equally mean in the way they treated the other.

Still, I liked this a lot. We rarely get long and well drawn process-filled stories like this. I think that's why we care so much, because we got a good story that could have been great.

[mike12]

dreamtales , please answer message everywhere !