Disobedience is Forbidden (AR/AP/Multiple)

[godleydemon]

People on the forum who know me, know that I had to stop writing due to health reasons affecting my hands and even in some ways, my brain. Well I've made a complete recovery after surgery finally and my hands stopped hurting and shaking!

So I can finally start typing again! I present to you, kind of my re-entry into the process fetish story writing world: "Disobedience is Forbidden".

Nadya, the top spy of the Russian Intelligence Agency is given a task, simple, sweet and should only take a night. Break into a low security lab and steal something called Project Yggdrasil. It should be no problem for a beauty like her, unfortunately, no one really knows anything about Yggdrasil besides that it should be carried in a glass bottle.

Breaking into the facility was easy, but getting back out is the problem, after Nadya is captured and she learns the true horror of what Project Yggdrasil actually is.

google doc: Disobedience is Forbidden

direct download: Disobedience is Forbidden mediafire

I'm writing this on google docs and it's currently as this posting, about 17 pages long. It'll get longer as time goes on as I'm sure I'm not even halfway done. It involves primarily age regression and progression, but will involve other types of transformations.

Let me know what you guys think and if anything should change, it's been a while since I actually sat down to write. So I'm open to some criticism.

[ShrinkingOne]

Take it off Google Docs. You are sharing it on a platform that by design identifies other logged in viewers. Just about the worst thing you can do to share with a reader base.


Writing should NOT be a "Watch my art stream!" creative process.

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by ShrinkingOne

Take it off Google Docs. You are sharing it on a platform that by design identifies other logged in viewers. Just about the worst thing you can do to share with a reader base.


Writing should NOT be a "Watch my art stream!" creative process.

Oh! I apologize, I was attempting to share it in the best way possible. Because of the formatting it's a little rough to just put in a txt doc, and I didn't want to use docx formatting. You can read it though anonymously if you want, you don't need to log into it. I'll go through and put a docx version on the original topic though, for people that don't want to read it on google docs.

[OhZone]

I'm glancing at it now on your Google. It looks cute and interesting. Oh, but another thing is that you are viewable too.

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by OhZone

I'm glancing at it now on your Google. It looks cute and interesting. Oh, but another thing is that you are viewable too.

I realize I'm giving away my secret Identity. The mask has come off!

[vended]

Why not copy pasting it here?

Anyways, welcome back! Great to hear about your recovery.

Thank you for sharing another neat story with us! It was

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by vended

Why not copy pasting it here?

Anyways, welcome back! Great to hear about your recovery.

Thank you for sharing another neat story with us! It was

lol thanks bud, and it's a long story so far and I plan to type some more to it when I get a little more time at work to do it. It's probably going to end up being about 20+ pages long. So that doesn't exactly fit in a single post very well lol

[Mr Wayne]

Originally Posted by godleydemon

People on the forum who know me, know that I had to stop writing due to health reasons affecting my hands and even in some ways, my brain. Well I've made a complete recovery after surgery finally and my hands stopped hurting and shaking!

I just happened to check this thread post and saw your health predicament...

I know we don't know one another, but you have my gratitude that you have indeed fully recovered.

Good to hear.

And a well written story too. Very nicely done.

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by Mr Wayne

I just happened to check this thread post and saw your health predicament...

I know we don't know one another, but you have my gratitude that you have indeed fully recovered.

Good to hear.

And a well written story too. Very nicely done.

Thanks so much! yeah, there for a while I couldn't grip a soda can very well my hands had gotten so bad. They still cramp up and getting tired, but not nearly at the level it was before.

Though about the story, I'll let everyone on a little secret. Every character besides the protag, is many of my friends roleplay characters, being put into a setting they kind of don't belong in, lol. This is more of a future setting and all of these RP characters RP'd medieval era. I've also been roleplaying with these people for about 14 yrs, so they're having fun watching me write there characters into a fetish story XD lol

[The AP Ninja]

Glad to see that you are fine Demon
Nice story, I obviously loved the RN TF at the end, it was amazing ^^

[Mr Wayne]

Originally Posted by godleydemon

Thanks so much! yeah, there for a while I couldn't grip a soda can very well my hands had gotten so bad. They still cramp up and getting tired, but not nearly at the level it was before.

Don't mention it. I find that compassion is often appreciated, but never wasted. ^_^

[somnium]

I'm glad to see that you're writing again! Since you've given me so many helpful criticisms, I couldn't wait to read this.

There's a slight formatting problem where multiple people are speaking in the same paragraph. It would be clearer to read if each time a new character spoke, their dialogue started on a new line.

This is a good set-up. Your anime influences are clearly showing in the appearance and presentation of your supporting characters. Cassandra, Gabriel, Raven, and the others feel like anime characters, though Nadya seems less the anime type and seems more like a real-world person caught up in this anime-influenced world.

The question I have is why Gabriel and the others want Nadya to train their employees. The cat-girls caught her easily, and Nadya couldn't even touch them when she tried to escape. I assume that there are more employees that are nowhere near as enhanced as the cat-girls.

There's one more question I have (not a criticism, just a curiosity): what does Midgard do? They have powerful technology and abilities, so what do they use it for?

I like the distinct stages of regression Nadya goes through. She has distinct body-types the younger she gets, and her mood changes depending upon those types. The regressions are great! I can't wait to see more of them, though these will stick out in my mind for a good while.

Thanks for the story!