The Skeptic

[qzar9999]

Yes, I was, at one time, known as The Beast. Some of you might actually remember me. For personal reasons I left active posting and only recently restarted as a rather anonymous alter ego. I've had this story idea bouncing around my head for a few days, and I just had to go for it.
Hope you all enjoy! Naturally, comments appreciated.
Bonus points if you recognize all four movie quotes. ...Yeah, I'm a dork.

The Skeptic
(a short story by Spectral Beast)

------------------------------------------------------------

Damien sighed as he flipped channels for what felt like the thousandth time. He had spent the entire afternoon desperately seeking quality entertainment on his magically-enhanced television, but his search had proved futile. Creation of the Universe, Iron Chef, End of the Universe, a James Bond movie, a movie about an alien invasion, an ACTUAL alien invasion... "I don't understand it. I get seven-hundred ninety-four channels, fifty-four alternate timelines and twenty-two other dimensions and there's nothing to watch," he moaned aloud.

He briefly considered a movie, but remembered he'd accidentally teleported his entire collection to some unknown location while trying to send it to his best friend's house, and he hadn't yet bothered to find out where it went. The weather outside was terrible, so people-watching (with occasional light spell-casting on passersby) was out of the question. Reluctantly, he resumed surfing, hoping that at least he might fall asleep from boredom.

"...Don't spit in that cop's burger..."
*flip*
"...cover sheets on our TPS reports now..."
*flip*
"...Continuum Transfunctioner is a very mysterious and powerful..."
*flip*
"...saying is that the existence of magic--ANY kind of magic--is ridiculous..."

"Hello, what have we here?" he said to himself. The program, "Exploring the Supernatural with Kelly Williams," seemed to be some kind of talk show focusing on the explanation of various phenomena. The hostess (evidently Kelly), a thirtysomething blonde dressed in light blue slacks and a matching jacket over a white blouse, sat with one long leg crossed atop the other knee, showing she wore white heels. She had a thoughtful expression on her face as she watched her guest talk. A bar at the bottom of the screen identified Kelly's guest today as Janeane Stone, billed a "Paranormal Studies Expert." She was dark-haired, wore wire-rim glasses, appeared to be almost the same age as Kelly, and was casually dressed in a knee-length denim skirt and a short-sleeved blue shirt (which Damien noted with interest flattered her impressive breasts with just a hint of cleavage). An ornate gold charm hung on a necklace chain just under her throat. The two women sat in cushy red chairs large enough to come up to their shoulders wtih a table between them as Janeane continued her discussion of magic. Intrigued, Damien made a gesture and the volume increased.

"I'm saying it's impossible, Kelly. I've been doing paranormal studies for a little over a decade. I've seen evidence of UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis. But never--not once--have I seen anything to indicate that so-called 'magic' exists. I've never seen anybody cast a spell and make something happen," she stated. Damien found the statement mildly annoying, but moreso was the smugness evident in her attitude and expression.

"Well, okay, so you haven't seen any evidence in favor of it," replied Kelly, "but have you seen any evidence *against* it? I mean, just because you can't prove something exists doesn't mean that it's been proven not to. What do you say to that?"

Janeane seemed to have been expecting this question. With a smirk that Damien found very irritating, she said, "All the phenomena I've mentioned, I get people claiming they can prove it. In ten years, I've had a LOT of people claim they can prove it. As many cases as I've investigated, I've seen some people turn out to be right. But in ten years, despite hundreds of people laying claim to it, I've never seen one single person give even the slightest indication that they or anyone they know can do magic or has been involved in any magical happening. With all the cases I've seen, at least something, no matter how small, should've come up by now."

Kelly seemed to accept this with a nod. "Well, when you put it that way, I suppose you might have a point. Why don't we go to the phones and field a few calls from our viewers on this subject?"

"Sounds like a great idea."

"Doesn't it, though?" Damien muttered. The phone's buttons pressed themselves as it levitated across the room into his outstretched hand.

"Our first caller is Roy from..." Damien made a motion at his phone. Kelly trailed off and looked confused for a moment. "...sorry, that's Damien, from Florida. Go ahead, Damien."

"Yes, hi, Kelly. Long time viewer, first time caller," he lied. "Janeane, I actually have two questions. Number one, don't you think you're being just a bit close-minded? I mean, isn't it possible you've just been getting reports from nutjobs? Maybe you even have seen some magic and just didn't recognize it for what it was. Which brings me to my other question--if you don't believe in magic, what do you consider telekinesis and telepathy to be?"

He could practically see her adopting an air of patronizing superiority, and her voice confirmed it. "Damien, if it had just been one or two, even fifty or sixty, people who claimed they could do magic, that's not a lot in ten years. But I find it a bit unlikely, given my experience with other phenomena, that several hundred people would be 'nutjobs' as you call them. As for telekinesis and telepathy, well, those are not magical. Like clairvoyance, those are entirely explainable by abnormalities in the human mind."

"Has it occured to you," Damien said, his irritation building, "that perhaps SOME incidents of telekinesis and telepathy are in the mind and OTHER examples of them might be magic?"

Kelly answered this time before Janeane could. "Damien, as hostess of this show, having seen what I have, I can assure you they're purely and entirely psychic phenomena. They're in a completely different category than magic."

"How do you know?" he demanded, now beginning to get annoyed at Kelly as well. "What proof do you have? Who defines these 'categories' anyway? I'll have you know there are people who can do magic. I even know some of them." He neglected to mention that he was one such person, in part because he could already see the two women trying not to laugh at him.

"Look, Damien," Janeane said, resuming her smug demeanor, "there simply is not now, and has never been, any evidence of the existence of magic. As far as anyone you know being able to do it, I tell you what. Go right on ahead. You have my full consent. Make something fly. Turn me into a lizard. Appear here in a poof of smoke. Throw a fireball. Do anything at all to prove me wrong. Show me even the smallest, tiniest, littlest bit of anything that's demonstrably magical."

"You're really asking for it, Janeane--"

"Damien, your time is up. Next caller, please?" Kelly cut in.

"I see how it is," he said aloud, glaring at the women on the screen. He started to weave a spell around the two women, but stopped himself. It would be much more fun to do if he cast a glamour spell on them first so they wouldn't realize what was happening. Almost as an afterthough, he made another gesture and the show began recording--this might be amusing to watch later. Focusing intently on the image on his television, he first put a glamour shield around each of them, then began another incantation...

Janeane was talking to the next caller, probably the aforementioned Roy. "...and frankly I resent being called close-minded! I believe in things other people would shrug off as nonsense because I have *seen* *evidence*! That's not close-minded, that's practical!" She paused a moment to push her glasses back up her nose. "What about you, sir? Do you believe in lycanthropy?"

"Well, no, but--"

"Well I do, so you're being close-minded, at least by your criteria." She pushed her glasses up again. "I don't see where you're in a position to judge me." She waved a hand in a dismissive gesture and gave a brief puzzled look at the rings she wore before looking at Kelly.

"Roy, your time is up," Kelly said, looking at her watch. "Our next caller is Sally from California," she continued, unconsciously pushing the watch back up her wrist. The back of the one visible white heel slipped on and off as she tapped her foot in the air.

"Yes, I'd like to ask you, Janeane," came a female voice, "what you think about magic being represented so prominently in fiction. Books, movies, TV, it's everywhere you look."

The camera switched to Janeane, looking annoyed as her glasses refused to stay up. Finally removing them in annoyance, she replied, "Yes, what's your point?"

"Well, my point is, they say all fiction starts from a grain of truth. Don't you think, with so much magic in fiction, that it's at least possible that it's really out there somewhere?"

"I think, unless it's proven otherwise, that fiction is exactly that--fiction." The back of the chair was now even with the top of Janeane's head. "And frankly, if it's going to go giving people the wrong idea like that, maybe we should stop encouraging magic in fiction. What do you think, Kelly?" She shifted in the chair as if uncomfortable before the camera switched to the hostess. The gold charm appeared to have sunken down to just above her no-longer-visible cleavage.

"I don't know if I'd go that far, Janeane. I mean, that's a bit of an extreme position." There was a dull thump as the heel fell off her foot and hit the floor. The top of her head was also even with the back of the chair. "Our next caller is..." She looked confused for a moment. "...Talon? Is that right? Talon? Well, go ahead, Talon."

"Hi, Kelly. Love your show," said a male voice. "Janeane, I was just wondering what you think about the theories of chaotic magic and magical memory-erasure? You could've seen magic and been made to forget it because of those."

"Let me tell you something about these 'theories,' as you call them. I find it insulting that my specialty--a serious science--has to be lumped in with ludicrous notions..." She seemed to be getting warmed up for a rant. She paused briefly to look down at herself and adjust her clothes. When her arm came up, her hand was missing its rings and her loose sleeve was obviously below her elbow, but, apparently seeing nothing wrong, she continued talking.

In truth, she should've seen something wrong. The camera angle changed to show both women in full view. Kelly's discarded heel was on the floor beside her chair, and the other one was beneath her dangling bare foot, which was partially covered by the leg of her slacks. Similarly, Janeane's shoes--black pumps--sat next to each other on the floor, her feet in slightly loose stockings hanging above them. The oversized chairs were beginning to dwarf both women. Damien noticed that now both of their heads were below the tops of the chairs. One shoulder of Kelly's jacket was beginning to slip down, and her hands were slowly drawing into the cuffs. The neck of Janeane's shirt looked wider on her, and the shirt was beginning to sag as her formerly large breasts dwindled within it. By now it was beginning to dawn on the audience and crew what the women somehow remained unaware of--that they were shrinking.

Kelly fidgeted in agitation. She felt like something was wrong, but couldn't put her finger on what. Her long blonde hair suddenly fell around her face when the band that was holding it back slipped off. When she reached up to adjust it her watch disappeared into her jacket sleeve, and when she put her arms back down the cuffs slipped completely over her hands. The still-raving Janeane didn't notice that her "knee-length" skirt had fallen over her knees and was creeping down her shins. She did scoot forward in the chair to keep her knees bent, however, apparently without realizing she had done so. The neck of her shirt had almost slipped completely off one shoulder, revealing a large bra strap resting loosely atop it.

Kelly had also slid forward in her chair to remain sitting with her knees bent. She had uncrossed her leg when she unconsciously registered the discomfort her baggy slacks were giving her, and even with both feet hanging down, her once-long legs were totally covered and her toes were nowhere near the floor. The neck of her shirt was too wide as well, and the heavy jacket began slipping down on both sides, revealing the loose blouse bunching up around her reduced chest. Both women were only about three feet tall now and still seemed to be getting smaller. Janeane's sleeves now covered half of her forearms, and the gold charm had long since vanished completely into her oversized shirt. As she concluded her rant, she unconsciously removed her earrings as they were starting to irritate her ears.

"Yes, well, I think that's about all the time we have for today," said Kelly, reaching for a book on the table between the chairs. "Janeane has a book out on various supernatural phenomena she has encountered in her work, and..." She trailed off when she realized she was unable to reach it from her chair, and after a few unsuccessful attempts, she stood up, nearly tripping on the large shoes when her feet came down in them before catching herself and stepping out of them. Even standing, she was shorter than the chair, and the table was almost at eye level. She reached up and picked up the book. She had thought it was the size of a standard hardback, but it felt more like an oversized reference volume to her (and, indeed, looked like one next to her). She wobbled a bit trying to heft it, and the motion caused her slacks to drop to her ankles, revealing lacy black panties hanging loosely on her small hips, which were almost swallowed by the huge jacket and blouse. Janeane stood up from her chair, as well, and her skirt drooped all the way to her ankles. After she also stepped out of her overly large shoes, the too-large skirt dropped to the floor, showing a once-skimpy red thong sagging between her thighs and exposing her pantyhose as they slid down her legs. Her too-long shirt covered her below mid-thigh, preserving her modesty for the moment. Her formerly impressive chest was completely lost within the huge, baggy garment which was already off one shoulder and threatening to slip from the other. The bra strap had also slipped over her exposed shoulder.

Amazingly, despite shedding clothing, the two women remained unaware of what was going on. Similarly they missed the fact that they were now below the tabletop that had been waist-high when both sat down. Kelly handed the increasingly heavy book to Janeane and lowered her arms, which caused the oversized jacket to slide off her shoulders and join her slacks on the floor. Her collar microphone weighed down the neck of her blouse enough to reveal the middle of a black strapless bra--which fell out of the bottom of her blouse shortly thereafter. For her part Janeane was caught off-guard by the size and weight of her book--it felt as large and heavy as a dining-table leaf. Her imbalance caused the thong to slide all the way off of her legs and join her skirt and hose on the floor. She tried to shift the book to the other hand, but when she did so, her shirt slipped off her other shoulder. The garment joined her other discarded clothes on the floor, leaving her with a gold charm necklace hanging nearly to her waist and a huge bra hanging by one strap over her diminished chest and otherwise revealing her to the audience. Damien figured she probably used to be a 36 DD, judging by the half-empty cups, but they had dwindled to smaller than tennis balls on the two-foot tall woman.

Kelly tried to start a round of applause for her guest today, but her audience was too stunned by the remarkable transformation of the two women to follow along. All her gesture did was dislodge her blouse, revealing her in all her glory (she was, Damien noticed, a natural blonde). There was a thump as Janeane, unable to hold up the growing book, dropped it to the floor. The sudden movement slid her other bra strap off, and there stood Kelly and Janeane, eighteen inches tall and totally nude in front of the entire show's crew and audience. Damien simultaneously stopped their shrinking and disabled the glamour shields. The effect of this was that they immediately realized they were small and naked. It took a couple of seconds to register, and a few more to get past the initial shock, before both miniature women screamed and frantically dug around in their clothes piles for something to cover up with. Kelly pulled her lacy panties up around her body, and Janeane covered herself with her bra, noting with dismay both that she could completely preserve her modesty with one cup and just how much her breasts had shrank.

Watching on TV, Damien decided it was time for a visit. Right about the time the two women stopped screaming, a dark cloud appeared with a BANG! right in front of them. Damien stepped out of it, grinning like a Cheshire cat. This, of course, launched them into a new screaming fit. He turned to face the cameras, still grinning, and said, "How's that for something just the 'tiniest' bit magical?"

END
_________________
I've spent the past five years in an alternate dimension. It was a lot the same as here, except it rained Coke and snowed sugar.

[Lurker3485]

Fantastic work! I love the slow buildup of the plot, the subtle hints... great stuff indeed.

Any chance I can convince you to try doing some fiction for AP/AR?

As for the movie quotes, #1 is Super Troopers, and #2 is Office Space. I'm stumped on the other two...

[TF-Viewer]

That was truely excellent.

Glad you're back in form, dude!


tal