Continuing tg story - praedatorius (Offsite)

[somnium]

Originally Posted by frice2000

Naiad is the most interesting charater in this piece. The rest of the characters are a bit underwhelming. Betty not wishing for anything to reflect on her? Betty feeling no remorse or thought at all for the transformed Manuel? I get that he made her life hell but unless she's quite a mean person herself, which didn't seem to be the case with the first chapter, then she should be more hesitant to 'punish' him. Otherwise it had a neat style. Liked the kind of out there tone of the piece as well.

I have to admit: Betty and Manny are rather two-dimensional. I'll need to work on that as I continue writing the story.
I'm glad that you mentioned the tone, though. I'm trying to make my writing more exciting by doing more than describing boobs, so I'm happy that at least one person noticed the effort.