From Dead To Alive (Age Progression Short Story)

[The AP Ninja]

Originally Posted by godleydemon

Kind of strange for a story to fast forward 3 hours like that. But not to bad really. If you want, this would be a really great chance to go back through and flesh out some more of the story. Introduce more characters and conflicts. The transformations are pretty darn well laid out. But the story and characters are a little hard to get behind, because there isn't much there to them.

You are pretty much right...
This character didn't have much to tell about but I dont introduce her as I should... I didn't want to add much more plot to it because it was getting a bit long...and about the three hours I just wanted to make you see that she was so enchanted with her new body that she didn't even know how far she was going...in fact she doesn't even go back home...
But given that this perjuices the story rather than beneficiate it
I will probably check this story again and probably introduce more plot

Thanks for the opinion and the cheers