Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Kitran · 01-31-2015

That's why I can't write stories anymore. I get off on tangents and often deviate from the main plot line.

BTW, you briefly switched from the 1st person perspective to the 2nd person perspective when you wrote ' "Aww, they're adorable there, Felix" Claudia started looking at you.' Should've been 'looking at me'. Otherwise not bad.

Phoenix the II · 01-31-2015

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitran

That's why I can't write stories anymore. I get off on tangents and often deviate from the main plot line.

BTW, you briefly switched from the 1st person perspective to the 2nd person perspective when you wrote ' "Aww, they're adorable there, Felix" Claudia started looking at you.' Should've been 'looking at me'. Otherwise not bad.

Fixed

, ty

. Well, I'm actually liking that im deviating here and there. Because I like to write a long story, not a shorty..

Kitran · 02-02-2015

Yeah, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, per se. I just have a bit more trouble in keeping the plot going and keeping it interesting when I write. But keep up the good work. I'm eagerly awaiting the next addition.

01-31-2015	#1
Kitran Lurker Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 21	Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni) That's why I can't write stories anymore. I get off on tangents and often deviate from the main plot line. BTW, you briefly switched from the 1st person perspective to the 2nd person perspective when you wrote ' "Aww, they're adorable there, Felix" Claudia started looking at you.' Should've been 'looking at me'. Otherwise not bad.

02-02-2015	#3
Kitran Lurker Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 21	Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni) Yeah, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, per se. I just have a bit more trouble in keeping the plot going and keeping it interesting when I write. But keep up the good work. I'm eagerly awaiting the next addition.