TwoSpiritTG's Fictionmania Stories

iamseercoltz · 05-18-2015

I love Wet Dream, it's a fun novella with a lot of great creativity, and great sex. I also enjoyed the first chapter of your new story, Frustration, but I only have one comment after the first chapter.

In Wet Dream, the characters the protagonist transforms into are yours, and are generally archetypes, and you've played the reactions and sex-scenes with these characters beautifully. However, in Frustration, you're using characters from popular media, and in the first story, after the description of the transformation, the sex scene might as well be between two made up characters, because there's nothing to further confirm that the roommate has actually become Jessica.

Basically, I feel that if you're going to use these characters, have some fun and have them act a bit like the characters too, giving the transformation a bit more versatility, and further confirming that they do indeed become copies of them. I'm not talking about identity death, just little quirks.

Keep in mind, this is just a tiny critique. I love your writing style, and look forward to every one of your stories. Please keep up the new one!

05-18-2015	#3
iamseercoltz TG Artist Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 21	Re: TwoSpiritTG's Fictionmania Stories I love Wet Dream, it's a fun novella with a lot of great creativity, and great sex. I also enjoyed the first chapter of your new story, Frustration, but I only have one comment after the first chapter. In Wet Dream, the characters the protagonist transforms into are yours, and are generally archetypes, and you've played the reactions and sex-scenes with these characters beautifully. However, in Frustration, you're using characters from popular media, and in the first story, after the description of the transformation, the sex scene might as well be between two made up characters, because there's nothing to further confirm that the roommate has actually become Jessica. Basically, I feel that if you're going to use these characters, have some fun and have them act a bit like the characters too, giving the transformation a bit more versatility, and further confirming that they do indeed become copies of them. I'm not talking about identity death, just little quirks. Keep in mind, this is just a tiny critique. I love your writing style, and look forward to every one of your stories. Please keep up the new one!