Once in a Blood Moon TF Scene

[Amahain]

Okay, honest feedback, here are some things to consider:

One thing I try to do when I write is picture the story as a screenplay and then edit out any dialogue that might seem superfluous. Tara is talking to herself throughout the transformation (eg. "Are my nails growing? This can't be real!") but a lot of that dialogue isn't necessary and would seem odd if it were in a screenplay. Something like, "she watched in disbelief as her nails grew" would suffice.

Just as a challenge to yourself, I'd recommend writing a TF story (or just a vignette, anyway) with no dialogue whatsoever. Describe your character's thoughts but avoid quotation marks at all costs. I think it would probably flow much better.

Another thing to consider:

Tara cocked her head back, gazing as the moon and let out a long, mournful howl before bounding off into the woods. The next morning dawned, and Tara awoke, human once more, in a pile of leaves.

This should be two paragraphs. These are two separate scenes; a significant amount of time has passed between the first sentence and the second. If you feel like this makes the paragraphs weirdly short, then expand on them.

Anyway, the story has potential. I think it's great when TF fans contribute and share their own works, and I hope you continue to do so.